Book Unboxing ~ ここで開く

Latest video.  I'm doing my first book unboxing here, coincidentally (though I don't necessarily believe in coincidences) tied to my first purchase at Bookoutlet.com.  It's a small wonder, though.  See, months ago when I discovered Bookoutlet, I wasn't particularly crazy about it.  I think I browsed the site twice and only ran across maybe two books that I really wanted.  And those books weren't a desperate-to-own.  So I passed.  I talked a little smack about the site's overabundance in YA novels (that was my poor perception at the time), and moved along.  Recently I tried them again.  This time I took my Amazon Wishlist and did a "cross check" where I browsed for specific titles that I knew were desperate-to-own.  Lo and behold I checked out with four titles and spent less than $24.  I consider that a fawning success.  While the titles are probably noted as remainders, they are all in perfect condition.  However, Bookoutlet marks the condition of several books as otherwise for consumer awareness.  They also list the stock amount of available books.  Which kid of pissed me off because had I paid attention to those small numbers before, I would've had a cheaper copy of Octavia Butler's Parable of the Talents by now.  Boo-hoo!

So I got...

1.  A Thousand Lives by Julia Scheeres

Without a doubt this is going to be a dark, dark read.  Anyone familiar with Jim Jones and the Jonestown tragedy that took place in the 1970s understands that there is probably nothing bright seeping out of this book.  Nevertheless, for the curiously nosy information freak that I am, I decided Julia Scheeres [Jesus Land] would provide a familiar narrative to the unfolding of this horrific event.  Needless to say, this is going to make for a page-turner.  While I'm familiar with its subject matter through watching several documentaries throughout the years, I've never went into educating myself on the hard details concerning Jonestown.  Stacked with referenced facts and recounts, I have to say that I am ready for the dive.  And it's next on my TBR.

2.  The Complete Keeper Chronicles by Tanya Huff

Long ago Tanya Huff was pointed out to me as a slicker alternative to Laurell K Hamilton.  To be specific, Huff's short-lived Victoria Nelson series shined as a better, comparable alternative.  Within five books and a short story omnibus, Toronto homicide detective turn P.I., Victoria (Vicky) Nelson, teamed up with her ex-partner and a centuries old vampire to deal out ass-whoopings to several paranormal uglies squatting the urban (and one rural) Canadian streets.  While that series makes an easy five stars, Huff's range stretches in further directions, including fantasy and sci-fi.  So color me anxious to read more by her.  The Keeper Chronicles trilogy is urban fantasy, with a high emphasis on fantasy done in ways other than vampires and zombies.  To my pre-mature awareness I should say.  I passed on the series until a couple of years ago when I bought the first book at a used bookstore.  I got a good 40 pages in when I put it down and read something else.  Never to pick it back up.  But I held on to it.  Like we all do.  Until two years ago when the trilogy was released as an omnibus edition and my interest peeked back up.  Took me a minute, but I finally got it at a great price--thanks to BookOutlet.  So far, we have a bed-and-breakfast setting, a talking cat, and a ghost.  No giving up this time!

3.  Hurricane by Jewell Parker Rhodes

I have gushed about my love of this particularly series in minute details throughout Comic Towel and my videos.  It's New Orleans setting, shrouded in old spells mixed with murder mysteries and some hospital drama, just lights me up.  Part of a trilogy, Hurricane is the final foray into the world of doctor Marie Laveau nee Levant, and her double life as a mystery-solving-voodoo-priestess.  I'm hoping her journey goes out with a bang, especially considering the first book (Voodoo Season) put this series on a high bar for a person with interest in such subjects as voodoo spells and mysteries.  The magic within this series has always been how Rhodes serves readers an intelligent woman of color solving mysteries, underneath the veil of commanding the powers of her ancestor, the infamous (and historical based) voodoo queen of Louisiana, Marie Laveau.  While the first book features a cult and zombies, and the second book (Yellow Moon) an African vampire spirit called wazimamoto, Hurricane takes on Hurricane Katrina.  And that's all I know at this point, but my thirst and trust in this author's delivery is so real.  Be sure that once I finish this book, it'll be splashed all over this blog. 

4.  Innocent Blood by P.D. James

I've never read any of the Adam Dalgliesh mysteries by English crime writer, P.D. James.  However, what I have read by her was the first book in her two-book Cordelia Gray series called An Unsuitable Job For a Woman.  Needless to say, I loved the book.  It features a young woman P.I. solving a seemingly domestic suicide that turns into a complex (and sometimes leaning toward convoluted) murder case.  Did I say that I was in love with this book?  Of course I did.  However, the second book, The Skull Beneath the Skin, was too much of a bore for me to complete it.  Though I plan too.  Innocent Blood isn't a part of either the Cordelia Gray or Adam Dalgliesh series.  It's a stand alone mystery.  According to the synopsis, the adopted, Philippa Palfrey, turns 18 and decides it's time to find her real parents.  While she has always envisioned aristocratic ties within her heritage, what she encounters is a little more bloody than she anticipated.  I've wanted to read this book for years based off the synopsis.  Finally, it's within my grasp.

With all that said... all I can scream is...

Thanks everyone.

Chinese Cinderella & History

I’ve been writing about China and Historical Fiction/Non-fiction on Comic Towel lately.  So much so that I wanted to share more of my love of both subjects in their sometimes blended splendor.  While the book I’m currently reading doesn't occupied either of the two topics, I couldn't exactly find a book to square up to that would allow me to delve deeper into the subject.  Then I glanced at my copy of Falling Leaves: The Memoir of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter, by Adeline Yen Mah, and recalled the summer night I spent reading the book from start to finish.  Needless to say, that night I freely absorbed Chinese culture and Mah’s personal story revolving around subjugation to many of China’s darkest administrations.  Politically and communally I might add.  That glancing led me to an essay I wrote not to long ago featuring Adeline Yen Mah’s teen version of her autobiography titled, Chinese Cinderella, as well as the topic of historical fiction versus fact.  I would like to share it here, knowing that these subjects have always been something I generally loved to talk about.

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Historical fiction and non-fiction novels contain a precise view of the world via a particular story’s setting.  This category of children stories represent realities of earlier periods in human history, told to contemporary readers.  Therefore, because of generational gaps, children may be unfamiliar with the settings and traditions that make up historical fiction.  Here writers must provide enough strong material to fill in the customs of the past so that children of the modern age can understand and appreciate the entirety of a story.  It is this filling of significant period-related material that eases children into the plot of a story, instead of pushing a history lesson.  Adeline Yen Mah’s nonfiction biography, Chinese Cinderella, introduces children to 1930s China through the eyes of an unfortunate girl within an emotionally abusive home.  It is a story that pulls from generations past to express political and cultural upheavals while maintaining the story of one Chinese family’s struggle.  Some may assume that Mah’s need to reveal Chinese culture and politics found itself unnecessary in developing the story’s theme concerning family and child disassociation.  However, Mah’s political and cultural reflections of past China shape much of the influence of family oppression that encouraged young readers to engage with her story.

Chinese Cinderella represents a story about conquering one’s own painful past to establish a productive and wealthy future.  Told through the autobiographical eyes of Adeline Mah, the children’s novel begins with young Mah living a relatively normal, happy life as a child in revolutionizing China.  

The beginning of the novel shows Mah celebrating with a silver medal that she received from school as well as a certificate.  This celebration is in honor of her leading her class, an element that foreshadows her future as a physician and writer.  Nevertheless, like many Chinese families, Mah lives within a complex family; therefore, she presents this award to her aunt, who is combing her hair and not to her numerous brothers and sister because of her fear of an unwarranted reaction.  Mah’s aunt becomes inspired by her niece’s achievement, pulling forth old photographs to relay where her niece came from within the complexities of her family‘s list of honors.  With the photograph, Mah’s aunt reminds Mah of each family member and his or her purpose, goals, and achievements.  However, when Mah questions her aunt about her mother’s role and death, her aunt reveals that Mah’s mother died three days after giving birth to her only.  This begins to set the tone of a motherless girl who becomes classified under Chinese tradition to contain bad luck because of the life her birth took.  No amount of achievements would appear to shadow Mah’s existence following her mother’s death, even within her own family (Mah, 1999, pg. 6)

Mah’s family siblings would forever blame her for their mother’s death, her father sought marriage to a woman of French and Chinese heritage.  This wife bore two additional children (a girl and a boy) during the time China faced and lost the Opium War between England and France.  Many families migrated from coastal cities to Tianjin and Shanghai as a result of the war.  As World War II came about many Chinese traditions further changed from customs featured in the Tang dynasty.  One of these customs was the custom of bounding girls’ feet, considering Chinese men put stock in women with small feet.  Here, Mah no longer had to follow tradition.  This later granted her the ability to form her own destiny as the story unfolds presenting the horrors her stepmother placed on her family (and her in particular) during their time in changing China.  Because her stepmother came from mixed heritage, it became easy for the father to accept that her form of discipline was a matter of cultural progression.  Therefore, he accepted the abuse for the sake of maintaining his wife during a period of struggle (Mah, 1999, pg. 8-10).

Literary elements that construct novels such as Chinese Cinderella are honest history and convincing characters.  Each of these two elements coincides with one another to illustrate a story.  Readers of Chinese Cinderella must consider the history behind China, presented in the novel as well as the character’s place and reactions to those histories and settings.  Convincing cannot be established when the setting and characters are not balanced correctly.  One must fit into the other.  Should the setting contain elements of future sciences and technologies, the characters would no longer be honest to the setting.  Likewise should the character contain knowledge of future sciences and technologies, the character would have no place within the influence of his or her story (Russell, 2009, pg. 247-250).  Chinese Cinderella manages both literary elements correctly, stemming from its nonfiction nature.  Told from the perspective of an individual, the information is accurate.  However, that is not to say that some autobiographies contain elements of fiction.  

Nevertheless, examples that illustrate Mah’s placement of these two literary elements are Mah’s reaction to traditions such as her older sister’s marriage arrangement and bringing honor to family and ancestors.  Under each circumstance, Mah remained innocence and honest in her wonder as regarding why such traditions should be held, even as she went about upholding them.  However, when faced with the scrutiny of her stepmother (who twice sent her to boarding school because of Mah’s tendency to question her), Mah’s resolve to one day be set free of China increased.  This set of traditions (including the early mention of bounding girls feet for marriage) reflected the character of Mah, who has remained an outcast to her family no matter how clever and smart (indicated by her school achievements) that she was.  

One insightful passage helped establish readers to the character of Mah as well as her struggle to separate herself from the harshness of China because she longed for life outside her confinement as a girl and an unwanted daughter.  The passage is told by Mah’s grandfather.  He states to her:

“You may be right in believing that if you study hard, one day you might become fluent in English.  But you will still look Chinese, and when people meet you, they’ll see a Chinese girl no matter how well you speak English.  You’ll always be  expected to know Chinese, and if you don’t, I’m afraid they will not respect you as much” (Mah, 1999, pg. 151).

Her setting later allowed her to split from the boundaries women face in China, leading her to a successful career in London and America as a bilingual physician (Ford, 2003, pg. 66).

Fact or fiction is a statement that demands truth over false within historical fiction or nonfiction.  In Mah’s nonfiction biography, Chinese Cinderella, the elements of fact become determined by the historic events that take place within the story.  Two examples that relay how her material becomes based on fact are her mention of China’s divide with foreign territories or concessions while the Japanese ruled the country beyond these foreign territories.  Because Mah’s family was wealthy and with clout (particularly her French and Chinese stepmother), her family lived well within the territories of the French.  Mah express this piece of fact stating that “Tianjin’s French concession was like a little piece of Paris transplanted into this center of this big Chinese city” (Mah, 1999, pg. 5-6).  During the late 1930s and early 1940s, the Japanese and other foreigner territories did reside in China during the period of the Opium War and World War II. 

Another example of fact within Mah’s novel arises in the political stains the country faced after the Japanese fled the country at the end of World War II.  This period of Communists and Nationalists became the cause of civil war within the country, as the exchange of ideas erupted in Chinese communities, concerning the progression of the country after the wars.  When Mah became pushed into a boarding school, the teachers, and administrating staff questioned: “Didn’t your parents tell you the Communist don’t believe in God and hate foreigners?” (Mah, 1999, pg. 129-130).

Each example furthers the theme of Mah’s story as she continued to wrestling with inner and outer wars to establish her separation from many elements that created a corrupted China.  These elements brought envisions of freedom from tradition as well as freedom from her family.  Mah was the perfect student and remained partly, such as mistreatment from family and wars proceeded to damage her mentality.  Had she not continued to pursue excellence, she would have never escaped the hardships of her past (Ford, 2003, pg. 66).

Even as humans try to remove themselves from his or her past, it is the past that makes the individual.  Mah learned this through the development of her autobiography, aimed to teach children how one’s past does not onset a negative future unless and individual chooses to allow it to be so.  Much of the events Mah faced, from war to political ruling, shaped her determination to exceed beyond her past.  How these elements also contributed to the destructive behavior of her stepmother furthered Mah’s resolve, as toward the end of her true story, when her father’s will is read, Mah decides to no longer fight with her abusive stepmother.  Instead, Mah walks away to continue creating the life she desired with her newfound power of freedom of mind.

References

Ford, Kim. Voices From the Middle 10.3 (March, 2003): 66.

Mah, A. Y. (1999). Chinese Cinderella. New York City: Dell Laurel Leaf.

Russell, D.L. (2009). Literature for Children: A short introduction (6th Edition). Boston,

MA Pearson/Allyn & Bacon.

Book Housekeeping Video

Review and Book Housekeeping Video

I'm giving a small review of Domino Falls by Steven Barnes and Tananarive Due and doing a mini book haul featuring Control by Lydia Kang and Year of the Demon by Steve Bein.  Be on the lookout for reviews.

January Reading Wrap-Up

January was a very good month.  My year of blogging and book tubing remained strong, just as I’d planned and continue to work on.  Set the stage and keep on performing… so to speak.  In any regard, time to wrap up my January reads as we move on into February.  My list is incredible short because two of the books I’ve already written about on Comic Towel.  If you’ve read any of these books and have something to share about them, please feel free to do so.  Who doesn’t love discussing books, right?

Beside finally finishing Laurell K Hamilton’s airless Anita Blake novel, Affliction, and Maya Angelou’s inspirational collection of essays in, Wouldn’t Take Nothing For My Journey Now, I finally managed to catch up on Steve Bein’s multi-layered genre novel, Daughter of the Sword.  I also devoured Jung Chang and Jon Halliday's Mao.  Needless to say, I am now pleasantly--pleasantly--satisfied with them both.

Daughter of the Sword

Daughter of the Sword combines elements of urban fantasy, historical fiction, and crime fiction into one fantasy seen cavorting down some mean and murderous Tokyo streets.  To a degree, however.  The fact is that the narrative switches between several time periods between 1587 Japan and 2010 Tokyo.  Nevertheless, the story begins with Tokyo detective, Mariko Oshiro (the only female detective in the city so noted within the text), in the midst of placing a cap on a string of narcotics dealings taking place within the city.  Almost inadvertently, her sister collides into her latest sting operation, troubling Mariko’s position.  Go easy on the drug-using sister?  Or book her?  Mariko goes easy on her sister and later finds criticism for her actions via her partners.  It’s already troubling being the only female detective in Tokyo--now this.  What troubles abounds Mariko gets worst when the new station lieutenant, Lieutenant Ko, gathers Mariko into his office for a critical rundown of her previous operation.  In basic terms, he’s a straight-up asshole to her for a variety of reasons besides the fact that she is a female cop.  Nevertheless, with his rank, he decides to put Mariko on probation from working Narcotics cases, and in turn, sends her on “shit cases” involving an elderly Japanese man who recently reported an attempted burglary of his home.  Someone tried--but obviously failed--to steal one of his many ancient swords.  To be specific, his Master Inazuma sword named Glorious Victory. 

Reluctantly taking on the case, it's here that Mariko is introduced to Yamada, the elderly man who reported the attempted burglary.  With this introduction comes a budding friendship and a peek into the legend by the ancient Inazuma swords--which consist of three swords providing three different utilities to its wielders.  Now, while Mariko’s case seems packed and all well and good, what really sets this story off is the leaps into the past we experience as the narrative switches.  I should clarify that the book remains third person, however the narrative changes by providing interlocking plots that illustrate the purpose and power behind each Inazuma sword via characters from ancient Japan.  This was especially fun for me because I love Asian ghost stories and Japanese Kwaidan tales.

Now, the third narrative point revolves around the actual villain and his quest to retrieve the three Inazuma swords.  Meanwhile, he wields the bloodiest of them all, Beautiful Singer, around Tokyo leaving a trail of bodies for Mariko to follow.

The way this book comes together between these three points is what kept the text fresh and engrossing.  You get the history behind the swords, as well as the case, as well as the desperate actions of the villain, all rolled into one.  It’s also told through a solid beat, or voice, that is consistent throughout the ride.  Therefore, the switches between narratives didn’t drag through certain areas to impress you with monologues on tradition and culture.  All that was woven into the voice.  A personal plus for me was that the book wasn't urban fantasy underneath the veil of chick lit.  Therefore, no romance was present enough to override the plot.  That, my friends, is gold country right there!  I recently bought the second novel in the series, Year of the Demon, and will be sinking my teeth into it this month.  Steve Bein.  You have a new fan.

The Unknown Story: Mao

Without a doubt, The Unknown Story: Mao, by Jung Chang and Jon Halliday, made for a thick and concentrating read.  There was absolutely nothing light about this 600+ page elephantidae of a biography uncovering the life of one of China’s [add your own adjective here] leaders.  I walked away from reading the book mesmerized, puzzled, and a little appalled at this leader’s tenacity to beat an entire country of people down, particularly through the use of vicious indoctrination and starvation.  Now, much of this I’m familiar with having read books (fiction and non-fiction) revolving around the atrocities of China’s Cultural Revolution.  However, there was no way I could know--or even come to understand--the truth behind its history.  This book provided that truth; some agree some disagree.

What a spread of information!  From Mao’s Communist beginnings, his many rivalries (I saw Chiang Kai-shek more like a nemesis; only one I voted for between the two), his usurping of the Red Army, and the fate of his wives; this book was just an uncontrollable wealth of information page after page.  Let’s not even forget to mention Mao's ugly Purges, kidnapping schemes, poisonings, and failed attempts to spread his Maoism across the world as China starved.  This book was explosive to say the least, and I enjoyed every minute of delving into the dept of this man.  It was an exhaustive ride, but very much worth the trip.  Guided by Chang and Halliday’s near seamless writing, I found myself devouring every bit of painted descriptions, character (though they are actual historical people) portraits, and factual (rather documented) pieces of dialogue.  However, I must say that in the beginning I was gathering a “textbook” feel for the book, but eventually their storytelling operation took over the more I understood the role and names of the historical people this book was written around.  Only then did each event unfold ceaselessly until its end.

More could be written on this biography--lots more.  As usual, any biographer will receive their share of criticism about their interpretation of history.  Apparently, Chang and Halliday received theirs in bulk.  Nevertheless, for the individual that I am, I am happy to say that I found myself complacent with what I received from this book.  I can’t weight fact from fiction because I‘m not an expert or historian on the subject of Mao.  All I can say is that I read the book, soaked into the history/story, and found myself a lot smarter and informed at its end.  That’s good enough for me.

What I'm Currently Reading

A couple of weeks from now will mark a year since I had this particularly book.  After digging into the depths of Mao, I thought it was time for some light reading... with a little post-apocalyptic zombie mayhem.  Domino Falls (second in a series) by the married writing duo, Steven Barnes and Tananarive Due, had been staring at me from its sleeper position on my shelf for quite some time.  I figured what the hell, I could save money buying books by reading what I already have.

At approximately 179 pages into Domino Falls, I have to say that I like the first book in the series, Devil's Wake, a little better.  Mainly because in Devil's Wake we are introduced to the zombie outbreak on what is known as Freak Day, as well as the immediate chaos that followed.  Plus, we witnessed how the cast of characters came together, which is always fun.

In Domino Falls, the pacing has slowed down considerable from chase scenes, survival tactics, and shootouts.  This is done in favor of building character conflict/discord/relationships, survival-town huddling, and a creepy mystery hinting to something out of The Walking Dead's Governor's secret room.  I haven't gotten into that part quite yet to tell what is happening, but it's definitely happening.  I'm kind of upset that I put the book down a year ago after stopping about 20 pages in.  The shift in pacing between the two books is necessary.  So what was I thinking?

Nevertheless, the draw of this series (when is the 3rd book due?) is the fact that the main cast of characters are people of color.  It's the same cast of survivors, ranging from late teens to mid-twenties, that were introduced in the first book, Devil's Wake.  From African-American to Native American, the seven of them (plus a dog) find themselves manning and avoiding the politics that make up the survivors town/colony inside Domino Falls.  While several of the cast of characters annoy me, I can't help but grin because I know them so well from the first book.  Should something happen to one of them, I don't know how I'll handle myself.  With that said, I don't think all eight of them will come out of this novel together.

After I post this, I'm seeping back into their world.

Books That Didn't Make It

There is one book in the month of January that I bought and couldn't find myself to finish.  I found it at my public library's bookstore.  It's called The Healing, by Gayl Jones.  I haven't decided whether I should give the book another try or not, but as of right now, it's on my TD pile--To Donate.  I've never read Gayl Jones, but I am a complete sucker for African-American writers who are of a certain age writing with a certain wisdom and vernacular that reminds me of butter on toast.  While I don't doubt that a book about a traveling faith healer is absent of some of the elements I love in African-American writers, Gayl Jones's The Healing just missed its mark with me.  It wasn't so much that the narrative is written in a stream-of-conscious fashion, it's the fact that her dialogue is un-punctuated!  If you have the patience to re-read lines to determine whether you are comprehending inner monologue or actual dialogue, then good for you.  For me, it's not worth the headache.  Maybe one day I'll get there, but I'll have to settle for what I am familiar with in this instance.  I can read The Healing to be absorbed into a story, not to find myself reading the equivalent of stepping carefully over shards of glass.  Sad that I didn't make it...

Thanks for catching up with me.  I'll share my latest video explaining as an extension to this post.  Well, actually, this post in an extension to the video.  (^.^)

(2) Quotes You May Need From Maya Angelou

Thank you for continuing.  Let's commence...

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"What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it.  If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.  Don't complain."

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Lord help me.  This quote takes me back to my early twenties when I was out of high school and realizing life wasn't what I dreamed it would be--so a part of me wanted to go back to high school.  That's not to say that as I approach 31 I have escaped my need to lay down and whine into the earth.  

It's safe to say that much of that whining has tapered down due to growth.  However, I can recall days where I screamed for life to open up to me.  From 18-21 I worked a fast food job where every day I ached over life, and how I didn't want to be at that job.  I still do it a little these days--or maybe more than I should.  The difference is that I now acknowledge that I have a switch in my mind.  It's ready for me to hit it, turning off my need to complain.  It takes some practice, but many times I just wish I would shut the hell up about a situation.  So I do it.  I hit the switch and revert to singing instead.  It's the easiest way to shut me up and vibrate something a lot less negative.

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"Too many times for comfort I have expected to reap good when I know I have sown evil.  My lame excuse is that I have not always known that actions can only reproduce themselves, or rather, I have not always allowed myself to be aware of that knowledge.  Now, after years of observation and enough courage to admit what I have observed, I try to plant peace if I do not want discord; to plant loyalty and honesty if I want to avoid betrayal and lies."

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I think I learned this somewhere in my childhood, in the form of how lies bring ugly inner and outer consequences.  I say this both from my experience telling lies, and watching a friend compulsively bask in them.  They never really lead to a good place inside of you, especially when they draw bad things to the outer you.  

Nonetheless, the phrase/idiom "you reap what you sow" is probably this quote at its barest.  It really goes without saying that what you put out you get back.  How you live life is how you'll see it.  Such expressions go on and on.  

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"Many adults show impatience with the young.  They want them not only to grow up, but to grow old, and that immediately.  They are quick to chide, criticize, and admonish..."

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My mom tried to make me as responsible-oriented the minute she could.  I was a baby warming up baby bottles for my sister.  I was a toddler fixing "innovative" sandwiches for our lunch.  I was always "watching" and "tending".  But nobody was really asking me about me.  If I was being my naturally silly self (which I learned early on to keep in low profile), I was told to stop it.  I couldn't have the haircut I wanted, so I hated getting haircuts.  When I wanted a pair of boots that I liked, I was quickly asked what for.  As if those boots were going to interrupt an image someone plastered on me, instead of unleashing the image I wanted to build of myself.  

I once asked my mom could I borrow her hoodie zip-up, because lots of kids wore them.  It was simple and dark blue.  Nothing bedazzled or sparkling.  Fitted me just fine.  Instead, I received an attitude for asking.  Without an issue, my sister did the same thing and wore the same hoodie frequently compared to my single time.  

I couldn't even have graphic tees to even feel marginally cool in school.  And from there the list goes on.  So growing up I was in a shell.  There was me, books, games, ideas, and drawings.  And a tremendous amount of developing self-respect.  Nevertheless, nobody asked me about my interest or desires.  I believe everyone always assumed that I was too level-headed and complacent to even be asked.  Everyone figured because I was quiet that I was smart and mature and had so much figured out.  However, I was also hopelessly doubtful about my future because nobody was taking part in blossoming my ideas and creativity as a kid.

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"We must re-create an attractive and caring attitude in our homes and in our worlds.  If our children are to approve of themselves, they must see that we approve of ourselves.  If we persist in self-disrespect and then ask our children to respect themselves, it is as if we break all their bones and then insist that they win Olympic gold medals for the hundred-yard dash."

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Ever heard of that Whitney Houston song "Greatest Love of All"?  Of course you have.  Now think about it lyrically.  I think this quote ties into that song, as well as the previous quote.  Soak on that for a minute and tell me if you gather the connection?  

Did you every grow up looking up to someone with a hint of distaste in areas you saw didn't fulfill your vision of them, as well as what you wanted to be from them?  I have.  As a child, it wasn't enough for me to look up to the adults around me.  I learned their sassy ways of back-talking each other to get their point across.  As well as their strength, willpower, and determination as striking characteristics over adverse times.  But I also grew up seeing limits in those individuals.  So no.  I still needed someone who dreamed and succeeded in manifesting what I wanted to do, or at least obtained the aura of limitlessness concerning success.  I wanted someone to show me how to earn a college degree.  Someone to show me how to be a singer and actor.  A writer and artist.  No one showed me how to do those things.  No one showed me how to believe in things.  So I had to learned to show myself, driven by this fragile ambition that those who put limits on life insisted that mine was limitless without ever expressing that to me through their own mouths.

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"I arrived at the conclusion that if a man came along who seemed to me to be honest and sincere, who wanted to make me laugh and succeeded in doing so, a man who had a lilting spirit--if such a man came along who had a respect for other human beings, then if he was Swedish, African, or a Japanese sumo wrestler, I would certainly give him my attention, and I would not struggle too hard if he caught me in a web of charm."

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The sex in this quotes irrelevant.  Nevertheless, the quote translates to me that you'll never know how love arrives in your life only when it has.  I was never good with romantic kind of love, but I've seen friends and family members go to war to make something that isn't right--right.  Eventually it explodes with all the pressure put into it, and the real emotional war begins.  But I think we all pray that love comes effortlessly.  Even if we have to tweak it with effort.  Something about "tweak" implies changing an individual, though.  So I don't know...

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"I am never proud to participate in violence, yet I know that each of us must care enough for ourselves to be ready and able to come to our own self-defense."

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Now a quote like this certainly describes what I learned directly and indirectly from those around me growing up.  As well as what I learned cherishing myself in those times I felt that was all I had.  I get sad when I see someone beat over the head concerning their lack of self-esteem.  And I get mad when I see bullies who think they can take it from someone.  People will try to take it from you and it's your job to make a stance on containing it.  Even if you have to knock somebody out to make that clear.

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"Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, lovers, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.

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A great closing quote.  I think I've shared so much between these two post and hope to hear your stories and what quotes you identify with and in which way.  In the meantime, thanks for stopping by and reading.  There's more to share, but I encourage anyone who hasn't read this book [Wouldn't Take Nothing For My Journey Now] to find it now.

So grateful.

Didn't read the first half?  No?  Then here!

Book Buying ~ Book Tag

Here we are with a Book Buying Tag.  My first tag--in fact.  I used to think only those big name booktubers did this among their friends or whatnot.  But I thought it made for a great topic for a newbie like myself.  This particular tag/topic was brought to my attention by a Booktuber named, Kristinathebookworm.  Here's a link to her video.   Check her out and keep on reading!  And yes, Lightning Returns demo was awesome!  I should stop sitting on my ass and go pre-order the game now.

As for the tag's list of questions:

1.  Where do you buy your books from?
2.  Do you ever pre-order books and if so do you do this in store or online?
3.  On average, how many books do you buy a month?
4.  Do you use your local library?
5.  If so--how many books can you/do you borrow at a time?
6.  What is your opinion on library books?
7.  How do you feel about charity shop/second hand books?
8.  Do you keep your read and TBR pile together/on the same book shelf or not?
9.  Do you plan to read all of the books that you own?
10.  What do you do with books that you own that you feel you will never read/felt you did not enjoy?
11.  Have you ever donated books?
12.  Have you ever been on a book buying ban?
13.  Do you feel that you buy too many books?

XOXO Hi-ho Cherrio!

(1) Quotes You May Need From Maya Angelou

Dr. Maya Angelou is undoubtedly powerful and influential with her words, and thankfully she doesn't come off as too much of a lyrical enigma of sorts.  I say this especially if you can capture the meaning behind her assorted catalog of material.  Still, in that respect, she is like the woman (or even mentor) that I probably needed closely in my youth.  Nevertheless, it takes me a couple of careful readings to grasp the meaning behind her poems, quotes and what have you in between.  Sometimes I find what I am looking for when I seek some advice to calm my over thinking spirit.  Then there are moments where I am attached simply to her story, as discovered after I read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings years ago.  Nevertheless, Wouldn’t Take Nothing For My Journey Now was read for answers; for some words I could use at this moment to help clear a couple of clouds or phantom feelings of inertia.

Quotes you may need from Maya Angelou’s Wouldn’t Take Nothing For My Journey Now...

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"Human beings are more alike than unalike, and what is true anywhere is true everywhere, yet I encourage travel to as many destinations as possible for the sake of education as well as pleasure."

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This quote very much resonates with me.  As someone who tends to feel swallowed up by his current surroundings/location, nothing screams more to my spirit than to be successful enough to have the freedom to choose where I want to go and expose myself to cultures I feel my spirit needs to "download" through hands-on experience.  See, I get a lot of puzzled gazes from people when I express how I wish to clap twice before bowing my head in a Japanese Shinto shrine, or sun-soak near travertine ponds in China--among other things.  Those puzzled gazes then ask why would I want to go visit those countries and do those things.  I tell them because I feel like I can express and be myself in unlimited places.

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"I like charitable people and like to think of myself as charitable, as being of a generous heart and a giving nature--of being a friend indeed to anyone in need.  Why, I ponder, did the benefactors not feel as I?"

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Like any quote, there are ways to reflect the author’s message onto our personal lives.  This quote in particularly caused me to recall the many occasions in which I’ve done something charitable for a friend simply as a friend.  Never asking for anything in return.  Only acting as a support system to their needs--and sometimes--requests.  The problem with that is sometimes those situations become one-sided, which would be okay if we all weren’t human and would sometimes like to have someone think of us out of common civility.  I experience this often with friends.  Playing the role of support for other individuals but sometimes finding myself disregarded or taken for granted because of that position I took.

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"Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction.  If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well."

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This quote is probably my favorite, taken from Angelou's essay titled, "New Directions".  The essay shares the story of Annie Johnson, a woman during the early 20th century who found herself an entrepreneur after marital discontent, followed by the divorcing of her husband.  Nevertheless, the message of the quote sung so clearly to me, but can appear pretty self-explanatory if not relative to the individual who finds his or her own meaning within it.  For me, it asks me to keep moving forward, boldly and anxious for whatever the future brings even if I have to drop some things (or people) off to reach what I feel is the right path.  I have to take control of this thing called life, and its many directions.  I would like to elaborate a little more, but will stop here.

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"Never try to take the manners of another as your own, for the theft will be immediately evident and the thief will appear as ridiculous as a robin with peacock feathers hastily stuck on.  Style is as unique and nontransferable and perfectly personal as a fingerprint.  It is wise to take the time to develop one's own way of being, increasing those things one does well and eliminating the elements in one's character which can hinder and diminish the good personality."

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I suppose at one point we've all been known to "bite someone's flavor" without understanding that we should shine and uphold our own.  Whether it's conscious or subconsciously done, it just seems a part of life.  Especially in adolescence.  Still, I think there comes a time when you have to play up on your own, personal strengths; likewise, become accountable for your weaknesses and the consequences they bring.  And if all else fails, we can try to remember that what we put out we get back.  If being yourself consist of you brightening up someone else's day with a smile, you'll get that back.  Should you wallow in misery, that, too, is all you'll get.  So many directions.  So much potential for over-thinking.

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"It is this belief in a power larger than myself and other than myself which allows me to venture into the unknown and even the unknowable.  I cannot separate what I conceive as Spirit from my concept of God.  Thus, I believe that God is Spirit."

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I'll be simple and quick with this semi-loaded quote.  It can go in so many directions that I don't care to go to.  I am not religious, or at least fashioned underneath the banner of "organized religion".  However, I believe in God.  Call it God, Universe, etc.  It doesn't matter.  To each his own.  As for me, God is a force that consist of love inside other matters that are complex and unreachable in human form.  To me, God is not this humanized persona many religions stack upon.  Nonetheless, I would be a fool to believe that I can traverse this world without a belief in God.  I'm scared of anyone who is able to move through this earth without such to ground them.  That's why I like this quote.  I also must trust that there is a power larger than me that can push me through the unknown that makes up being alive and uncertain about my existence/purpose.

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"Seek the fashion which truly fits and befits you.  You will always be in fashion if you are true to yourself, and only if you are true to yourself."

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I am far from being a fashionista or even fashionably conscious.  That's not to say that I have split the link between what I wear and what kind of attention it will attract, as well as how I feel in it.  I still strive to look relatively good and decent, checking the mirror and changing tops and bottoms seconds before I leave the house.  However, one thing is true about me: I don't try to keep up with what is "in".  I like my scruffy slip-in shoes.  I wear t-shirts years old.  And I have several comfortable pairs of jeans stashed in my clothest because I'm too lazy to make room for new ones.  My clothes and shoes aren't big name brands.  Never had a pair of Jordans in my life that didn't come second-hand and out of fashion from a cousin.  I shop at Target and, if I'm out accompanying a friend, Ross.  I like to spend less than $50 on clothes, but I took advantage during H&M's After-Christmas sale where I got $10 off a $20 purchase.  So it's nice to have two really cool t-shirts for the price of one, but the fact is that I rather spend my money at Barnes & Nobles as opposed to Footlocker.  And I'm okay with that.  That's being true to myself.

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"One day the teacher, Frederick Wilkerson asked me to read to him.  I was twenty-four, very erudite, very worldly.  He asked that I read from Lessons in Truth, a section which ended with these words:  'God loves me.'  I read the piece and closed the book, and the teacher said, 'Read it again.'  I pointedly opened the book, and I sarcastically read, 'God loves me.'  He said, 'Again.'  After about the seventh repetition I began to sense that there might be truth in the statement, that there was a possibility that God really did love me.  Me, Maya Angelou.  I suddenly began to cry at the grandness of it all.  I knew that if God loved me, then I could do wonderful things, I could try great things, learn anything, achieve anything.  For what could stand against me with God, since one person, any person with God, constitutes the majority?" 

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I related to this passage and wanted to share it.  I had a similar experience once at work.  On two occasions I found myself frustrated, wrapped in my dreams and stuck hauling trash to the dumpster and sweeping the parking lot clean.  On the first occasions I was sweeping away when a voice inside me said: "I am here.  You are not alone."  The second time I was wheeling away trash when a voice said: "God wants you to be happy".  There was this undeniable Truth in both occasions that I exploded into gleeful laughter.  I realized how right the voices were.  It was only I resisting those Truths by clouding my mind with my current situation.

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"There are many incidents which can eviscerate the stalwart and bring the mighty down.  In order to survive, the ample soul needs refreshments and reminders daily of its right to be and to be wherever it finds itself."

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This quote is taken from the essay titled, "Further New Directions".  It's here that Maya Angelou share details during her teen years, where she was fired from a job.  Sadden by the incident, her mother encouraged her by reminding her that she will look for another job and survive again should something happen to that one.  What I like most about this quote is the use of the terms "refreshments" and "reminders".  Sometimes, alone, I am not enough to lift my spirits when they are down.  At least my thinking can't remove itself from troubling and anxious thoughts.  That's when I have to surround myself with things that refresh and remind me of how I want to think/feel.  Whether I play a Louise Hay audio book, watch a TV show that inspired me as a youth, or simply come onto the blog, I use those things to pull myself out of muddy thoughts so that I can proceed to survive and move forward.  Truth be told, we need everything we can get to survive when we began to attack ourselves.

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Finishing up in the second part...