Musing on 2020

My 2020 Mood Be Like...

Despite losing my aunt (another mother to me, basically) last year, I'm optimistic and in an okay place entering 2020.  Therefore, needless to say, 2019 was heartbreaking and incredibly hard to make sense of.  I'm learning how time, doing your inner work, and focusing on your goals helps with the healing process.  But, most importantly as well, being strong enough to get real help when needed.  Either way, I don't believe there's a such thing as "healing" after a family member's death.  That's something you'll carry forever.  Every.  Day.

While 2019 was tough, I had many personal rewards and soaring highs come my way via my platform/interactions.  Many of those highs I didn't expect.  Like the time someone hacked into my domain account to try to steal it from under me.  Nice try, though.  I shelled out that $90 (no problem, boo) and now comictowel belongs to me until I renew again in 2023.  I've created/owned it since July of 2013, and it'll remain so, honeybun.

New Year Reflections | A Walking Child

I was thinking about New Year's resolutions when I realized I have a small aversion to space-less tasks and obligations.  Especially those ridged and timed, as opposed to flexible.  I think it has a lot to do with my mother trying to raise me.  To mold me into a strung and responsible person (her own secreted concerns included).  However, I grew responsible at the cost of keeping everything–including my feelings/emotions–walled to myself.  And responsible in the sense that during my 20's, I had a hard time saying no to unwanted commitments.  

So as a child I suffered a little; unable to just be me because of someone else’s idea of how I should be.  And the same came true as I grew and became angry at myself, people, and my stifling environment.  I’ve gotten better at being who I am and sharing it.  Especially in the past three years.  I came from a wearer place, so the second I hit thirty, I didn’t have emotional space for the baggage from myself and most certainly others.  There were things I needed to do and express.  Things I needed to achieve for myself.  Things I needed to reach in others.  No more emotional drainage.

Regina Brett and God's Hiring

I ran across Regina Brett’s (new to her, but she has many advice books) God is Always Hiring: 50 Lessons for Finding Fulfilling Work back in April.  At the time, I was hunting the bookstore for Toni Morrison’s front-of-store latest, God Help the Child.  I was also trying to distract myself from the troubling thoughts of my wrecked car parked in my driveway.  As well as distract myself from a 9-5 that just wouldn’t let up.  And it’s the 9-5 job situation I speak of which drew me to God is Always Hiring.  No, seriously, I considered it a sign from God when the book's bright yellow color captured my attention.  I circled the new release tower and–POW–there it was.  One to wage my coins on impulse buys; in that instance I grabbed the book (along with Morrison) and headed to the checkout without question.  As far as I was concerned, God really was trying to tell me something.  This time I would listen.

Funny how things work.

But to be extensively honest, I thought God is Always Hiring came with job-related stories I could identify with.  Particularly from the first-hand experiences of individuals who’ve found themselves frustrated by their jobs as well.  And what they did about it.  Think: Chicken Soup for the Soul, motivating struggle, adaptable tools, and eventual triumphs.  Even so, while the book contained tidbits of story essays from various individuals and their 9-5 challenges, it was mainly 50 lessons from the author's experiences.  Valid lessons, no doubt.  Only I have no idea what it’s like to have a resume as broad and bright as hers.  Or one crammed with growth opportunities in a field closer to my own desires themselves.  I would even stretch to say I would trade my current job for some of her previous experience.  Personally, working as a columnist is far more rewarding and field engaging than a gas station attendant.  Trust me.  I know this. 

Still, I suppose the feelings of finding yourself unfilled are relative yet all the same.  (I would probably only go so far as a columnist before my entrepreneurial spirit starts grumbling back up.)  Which is why I want to share a few of my favorite lines/lessons/advice provided in the book.  These are the moments that truly resonated within my personal situation.  The lessons I did identity with and heard God "calling."  In turn, if you haven’t read the book, I hope they resonate with you as well so you can go buy God is Always Hiring.  And get hit with the inspiration to make those changes in your life that you know you must seek out.

Well… LET’S GET STARTED….

Cashier Confessions | WEEK 2

Here we are with WEEK 2 of my "Cashier Confessions" (formerly "On Break... Motivate") series.  This week I talk about sharing your ambitions with co-workers.  Should you share them?  Or should you not.  I lean toward no.  Be discerning if you feel the need to.  Or move in silent.  I also talk about being grateful for you job underneath your own terms and not the fear others slip into your mind frame.  It's perfectly okay to want better and to feel it.  By Thursday I wanted to talk about arguing with co-workers.  So not necessary, but often we find ourselves in those situations.  If you know you deserve better and strive for it outside of your 9-5–let your co-workers have the place.  And Friday I leave the work week encouraging everyone to take pride in having a vision.  Because many people don't.  

Monday (12/7/2015)

Wednesday (12/9/2015)

Thursday (12/10/2015)

Friday (12/11/2015)

Rhonda Byrne's Hero

Okay. So let’s keep it 100% funky. You all know about Rhonda Byrne. If you were alive in 2006, and well outside of pre-school, then you’re familiar with this lady. She’s the creator of The Secret–both the film and book. And while her philosophies, ideas, and self-help methods were nothing new (start by looking up Ester Hicks); it ushered in a tsunami of law of attraction seekers looking to reclaim their lives with the power of positive thinking. From Oprah to the New York Times bestsellers, Byrne and her Secret were everywhere. She became global, with her book translated in over 50 languages while selling double-digits by millions. Naturally, when someone reaches an audience this wide and varied with a belief so nonconformist, controversy comes intact. Therefore, while those following Byrne believed they could create change in their lives with positive thinking (financial or otherwise), there were those who felt Byrne's belief created harm by deluding those who followed it.

When it comes to self-help and positive thinking, I take a more Louise Hay approach. However, that’s not to negate that I didn’t find Hay via the popularity of The Secret. I was working at Borders in 2006; I saw the crowds, processed the orders, stocked the shelves, and shared conversations with excited consumers of The Secret. I even fought with a manager about The Secret’s relevance and system. So, yes, I indulged in The Secret's fame and ideas.   I believed that maybe I could find my way into an art school, own a reliable laptop, and find a better job by applying Byrne’s borrowed principles. Except for one other desire, that I shall not name, I can say eventually the things I wanted to create happened. Was it The Secret? I can’t say because they all happened in their own time.


Nonetheless, I lost touch with The Secret as I moved into Louise Hay’s territory. I even sold my copy of the book to put gas in my car for a trip home. A couple of years ago, I restocked my shelf when I found it at a used bookstore. Just for safekeeping, I suppose.

I don’t like to make any claims without specific examples. I don’t like to push, but rather suggest.  But what I will say, and stand behind as it concerns The Secret, is that life is so much better when you at the very least give yourself some kind of hope and will to believe. So I may not quite realize whether positive thinking can bring me a bouquet of flowers, but I can appreciate rearranging my thoughts and emotions outside of the doldrums of negativity.  Negativity is poison.  And if you dislike being around someone who wallows in it, then chances are that sometimes include yourself.  


This leads me to Byrne’s latest (I think out of four publications), Hero. It became my bedtime read, or something to relax with.  What Byrne and her new team of influential people do in Hero is map readers along a path headed toward his or her personal idea of success. It’s nowhere near as industrial or even utilitarian as it sounds, so don’t expect anything close to something written by Robert Kiyosak or Napoleon Hill. No, Hero is a lot softer; but, frankly, heavily clichéd. That’s not to say it isn’t inspiring–as the true gem comes from Byrne’s success team sharing their personal stories. However, as the material goes, I would file it under a “heard it all before” heading. Though worth the retelling, I should add. Seriously, this stuff never gets old.

Byrne splits Hero into parts, and uses the Hero’s Journey monomyth as the layout to deliver. So there’s the induction of you–the hero–being called to adventure (realizing your dream).  From there you'll refuse the call, take on tests and tasks, gain allies and make enemies, and then hit the road back home to help others. All of this, once again, implemented with stories and ideas relating what we face on the path toward our dreams. And like I said, it’s all very cliché. Anyone picking up this book should know by now the importance of being true to yourself. Or following your bliss toward success. The same can be said for the importance of practicing gratitude in the face of adversity. As well as believing in yourself when the “chips are down.” (See what I did there?) The chapter on naysayers and allies breeds the same overused message of ignoring those pesky negative Nancy people, and fostering good relationships with those who are in support of you.  So like I said, all of this and more are present and in use here.  Also, there are no definitive tools and exercises given to either combat obstacles or uphold your stance on staying on the "hero’s path."  However, there are suggestions–though what I saw as light and apparent ones. 

There are no degrees to reading and applying self-help books.  So I saw Hero as something more for those dedicated to Byrne post The Secret, or those new to self-help as a whole. Then again, it’s perfect for people like myself that need a burst of motivation during a trying time.

And in saying that, I must share my favorite passages from the book before I have to return it to the library.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When we see someone follow their dream, we can get the mistaken idea that they must have had privileges to be able to do it.  In fact, it happens the other way around; it's when you decide to take the leap into the Hero's Journey that the privileges come.  When you commit to your dream, it's as though any person who can help you with your dream is summoned by the Universe to be right there for you with everything you need at the exact time you need it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

If your commitment begins to waver at any time on the Hero's Journey, through disappointment, rejected, or something that didn't go the way you thought it would go, those are the times when you need to remind yourself that you are always being moved to your dream in the way that will bring about the greatest outcome.

 ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Unless you want to wake up and do the same thing every day, you need to be a fighter.  You need to be a warrior if you want to make a difference, if you want to be significant.  I wanted to be significant.  I wanted to do things that would change my life, and would change people's lives.  I cannot be ordinary.

  ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When your work is your bliss, you will be happy.  Doing a job you think you should do instead of doing what you love is leading a false life.  So many precious people are living a life that has been put upon them by well-meaning parents, teachers, or society, or even by a friend or partner, and they're miserable.  We're seeing the evidence of the misery in people through the alarming increase of mental health problems in the world.  Shut out what everyone else thinks, have the courage to follow your own bliss, and you will be immensely happy.

 ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.  And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.  If you haven't found it yet, keep looking and don't settle.

  ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Many people give up on their dreams or don't even begin to pursue them because from where they are standing they can't see the whole path to their dream.  You will never see the whole path ahead, and so you will never know how your dream is going to come true.  No successful person has ever known how his or her dream would happen.  They simply believed that it would happen, and did not give up until it had.

 ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Tao and Satisfaction

I’m pretty sure we all believed or have stated that we don’t ask for much from people and life; whether that‘s outwardly true it's what we inwardly believe.  We attempt to be comfortable in our given--or created--situations.  We focus and strive for the biggest, most desired bit of transformation that we feel is required to bloom order and fulfillment into our lives.  We think that maybe if we get that one thing to happen, everything else will fall into place.  Or maybe those other annoyances concerning life wouldn't matter; fading away as we travel through our passions and destinies toward greatness   So when we've obtained our “big picture”, lying comfortably within it, where do we go from there?  And what is it about wanting more after receiving?

As I've read the third verse/chapter of the Tao through Dyer’s book and Derek Lin’s translation, I come to realize that learning how to be satisfied with life’s little unfoldings might be more of a fantasy than reality.  Like many, I've been condition to want so badly that I don’t believe it is even possible for me to reach such a level of content.  A level so strong that it blocks out all of my egocentric-driven desires.  See, I’m not sure where and when it happened, but life always just feels like a fight.  Like everybody else, I’m constantly contending with deep levels of inner habituations and outer influences.  So what am I (or we) left with when we travel through the two different verses of the Tao’s third verse/chapter translation?  Verses that ask us to let down our guard and relax ourselves on this plane by being auto-piloted by our spirits.  As always, let’s look at Dyer’s version then Lin’s.

Dyer’s translation reads as:

Putting a value on status

Will create contentiousness.

If you overvalue possessions,

People begin to steal.

By not displaying what is desirable, you will

Cause the people’s hearts to remain undisturbed.

The sage governs

By emptying minds and hearts,

By weakening ambitions and strengthening bones.

Practice not doing…

When action is pure and selfless,

Everything settles into its own perfect place.

And Lin’s reads:

Do not glorify the achievers

So the people will not squabble

Do not treasure goods that are hard to obtain

So the people will not become thieves

Do not show the desired things

So their hearts will not be confused

Thus the governance of the sage:

Empties their hearts

Fills their bellies

Weakens their ambitions

Strengthens their bones

Let the people have no cunning and no greed

So those who scheme will not dare to meddle

Act without contrivance

And nothing will be beyond control

As always, I connect with Lin’s version better.  Yet, I always read his like poetry while in need of Dyer’s interpretation to sort of reorient any of my thoughts.  Nevertheless, I think at its basis, this verse/chapter is simple and clear:  let life do the heavy lifting and just show gratitude for what is as is unfolds into the purist form of your desires.  If you can’t accept things as they are and be appreciative, then you’ll always be in want of something.  Nevertheless, as I mentioned, it would take me tons of work to get pass my ego in order to reach such a state.  However, in many ways it really comes down to a single conscious thought for promoting inner change.  That nugget of information is there--it's with you now.  Depending on how persistent you are for change, you'll always have access to it.  So if you can at least program yourself (unless or until it comes unconsciously) to recognize situations that ask you to allow life to be, then you can make the conscious decision to do so when said situation arises.  That's a good place to start in my opinion.  It's an idea that helps many people who are just starting on spiritual paths or paths for change.  Because think about it, at one point you didn't have the tools necessary to change.  You were just bumbling about.  So maybe that'll be enough for now.  Recognizing the opportunities to step back and let life do the heavy lifting.

Sources

Dyer, Wayne W. Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2007.

Lin, Derek.  “Accurate Translation of the Tao Te Ching.” Accurate Translation of the Tao Te Ching. N.p. <http://www.taoism.net/ttc/complete.htm>.