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Help Me Utilize Laura's Couch

I have to find a good place to start with how I concluded my experience and understanding of How to Rule the World from Your Couch by Laura Day.  Without rambling, of course.  

I picked Couch up from my public library’s self-help section. Now did the “self-help” in self-help apply once I finished reading it? I’m… honestly… not sure.  I’m leaning toward accepting it has, considering I read the book cover to back without skipping any pages. So I was dedicated and invested, though not totally convinced of Day's self-help methodologies. Conversely, in a subliminal pull, I kept reading because the cover seemed so comfortable and promising in itself.  Don't you agree?

Nonetheless, let me run down Day’s unique (though not nearly so) approach to self-help.  She insists on the highly necessary use of our natural intuition to supply the assistance we need to produce positive changes in our lives. According to her, we could use our intuition to manifest (though she may not use that word) financial, relationship, and business changes. Furthermore, her definition of intuition comes sub-categorized and packaged into applications of mediumship, telepathy, body heat telepathy, remote viewing, precognition, and healing. I know, right. Sounds a little too supernatural and occultist. Personally, these subjects aren’t new to me.  I spent my teens researching all things related, and my 20s consuming books written by famed psychic, Sylvia Browne (God rest her soul). Nevertheless, it appears Day takes the psychic/supernatural element out of these subjects and rearranges them with a less than esoteric definition.

Rhonda Byrne's Hero

Okay. So let’s keep it 100% funky. You all know about Rhonda Byrne. If you were alive in 2006, and well outside of pre-school, then you’re familiar with this lady. She’s the creator of The Secret–both the film and book. And while her philosophies, ideas, and self-help methods were nothing new (start by looking up Ester Hicks); it ushered in a tsunami of law of attraction seekers looking to reclaim their lives with the power of positive thinking. From Oprah to the New York Times bestsellers, Byrne and her Secret were everywhere. She became global, with her book translated in over 50 languages while selling double-digits by millions. Naturally, when someone reaches an audience this wide and varied with a belief so nonconformist, controversy comes intact. Therefore, while those following Byrne believed they could create change in their lives with positive thinking (financial or otherwise), there were those who felt Byrne's belief created harm by deluding those who followed it.

When it comes to self-help and positive thinking, I take a more Louise Hay approach. However, that’s not to negate that I didn’t find Hay via the popularity of The Secret. I was working at Borders in 2006; I saw the crowds, processed the orders, stocked the shelves, and shared conversations with excited consumers of The Secret. I even fought with a manager about The Secret’s relevance and system. So, yes, I indulged in The Secret's fame and ideas.   I believed that maybe I could find my way into an art school, own a reliable laptop, and find a better job by applying Byrne’s borrowed principles. Except for one other desire, that I shall not name, I can say eventually the things I wanted to create happened. Was it The Secret? I can’t say because they all happened in their own time.


Nonetheless, I lost touch with The Secret as I moved into Louise Hay’s territory. I even sold my copy of the book to put gas in my car for a trip home. A couple of years ago, I restocked my shelf when I found it at a used bookstore. Just for safekeeping, I suppose.

I don’t like to make any claims without specific examples. I don’t like to push, but rather suggest.  But what I will say, and stand behind as it concerns The Secret, is that life is so much better when you at the very least give yourself some kind of hope and will to believe. So I may not quite realize whether positive thinking can bring me a bouquet of flowers, but I can appreciate rearranging my thoughts and emotions outside of the doldrums of negativity.  Negativity is poison.  And if you dislike being around someone who wallows in it, then chances are that sometimes include yourself.  


This leads me to Byrne’s latest (I think out of four publications), Hero. It became my bedtime read, or something to relax with.  What Byrne and her new team of influential people do in Hero is map readers along a path headed toward his or her personal idea of success. It’s nowhere near as industrial or even utilitarian as it sounds, so don’t expect anything close to something written by Robert Kiyosak or Napoleon Hill. No, Hero is a lot softer; but, frankly, heavily clichéd. That’s not to say it isn’t inspiring–as the true gem comes from Byrne’s success team sharing their personal stories. However, as the material goes, I would file it under a “heard it all before” heading. Though worth the retelling, I should add. Seriously, this stuff never gets old.

Byrne splits Hero into parts, and uses the Hero’s Journey monomyth as the layout to deliver. So there’s the induction of you–the hero–being called to adventure (realizing your dream).  From there you'll refuse the call, take on tests and tasks, gain allies and make enemies, and then hit the road back home to help others. All of this, once again, implemented with stories and ideas relating what we face on the path toward our dreams. And like I said, it’s all very cliché. Anyone picking up this book should know by now the importance of being true to yourself. Or following your bliss toward success. The same can be said for the importance of practicing gratitude in the face of adversity. As well as believing in yourself when the “chips are down.” (See what I did there?) The chapter on naysayers and allies breeds the same overused message of ignoring those pesky negative Nancy people, and fostering good relationships with those who are in support of you.  So like I said, all of this and more are present and in use here.  Also, there are no definitive tools and exercises given to either combat obstacles or uphold your stance on staying on the "hero’s path."  However, there are suggestions–though what I saw as light and apparent ones. 

There are no degrees to reading and applying self-help books.  So I saw Hero as something more for those dedicated to Byrne post The Secret, or those new to self-help as a whole. Then again, it’s perfect for people like myself that need a burst of motivation during a trying time.

And in saying that, I must share my favorite passages from the book before I have to return it to the library.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When we see someone follow their dream, we can get the mistaken idea that they must have had privileges to be able to do it.  In fact, it happens the other way around; it's when you decide to take the leap into the Hero's Journey that the privileges come.  When you commit to your dream, it's as though any person who can help you with your dream is summoned by the Universe to be right there for you with everything you need at the exact time you need it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

If your commitment begins to waver at any time on the Hero's Journey, through disappointment, rejected, or something that didn't go the way you thought it would go, those are the times when you need to remind yourself that you are always being moved to your dream in the way that will bring about the greatest outcome.

 ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Unless you want to wake up and do the same thing every day, you need to be a fighter.  You need to be a warrior if you want to make a difference, if you want to be significant.  I wanted to be significant.  I wanted to do things that would change my life, and would change people's lives.  I cannot be ordinary.

  ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When your work is your bliss, you will be happy.  Doing a job you think you should do instead of doing what you love is leading a false life.  So many precious people are living a life that has been put upon them by well-meaning parents, teachers, or society, or even by a friend or partner, and they're miserable.  We're seeing the evidence of the misery in people through the alarming increase of mental health problems in the world.  Shut out what everyone else thinks, have the courage to follow your own bliss, and you will be immensely happy.

 ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.  And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.  If you haven't found it yet, keep looking and don't settle.

  ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Many people give up on their dreams or don't even begin to pursue them because from where they are standing they can't see the whole path to their dream.  You will never see the whole path ahead, and so you will never know how your dream is going to come true.  No successful person has ever known how his or her dream would happen.  They simply believed that it would happen, and did not give up until it had.

 ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Inspirational Library Haul

Hero by Rhonda Byrme

How to Rule the World From Your Couch by Laura Day

How Did I Get Here? by Barbara De Angelis

Infinite Possibilities by Mike Dooley

You know how you’re just cruising along on auto-pilot until you spot something that catches your attention?  Something you feel like you may need.  Okay, yeah.  That’s what happened at the library over the weekend.  I went there to get my usual quiet time (which was a success) and came home with a stack of self-help books.  I’m always there for an inspiring word and change of direction.  And considering I’ve been sucking at fiction lately, I came home with these four.

Everyone’s familiar with Rhonda Byrne.  She’s the author of the famed, The Secret.  It's the book all about manifestation and the law of attraction.  It’s been a minute since I’ve read The Secret, so Hero seemed like a neat choice.  In Hero, she talks more or less about being such in our own lives.  Or acknowledging and taking responsibility for the life we’re given.

Laura Day’s How to Rule the World From Your Couch is all new to me; the author and her unique perspective on self-help.  She takes an intuition approach, with exercises for change taken from your couch.  Sounds interesting.

How Did I Get Here? by Barbara De Angelis has kind of been on my self-help list since forever.  I just never got to her, until I was pulled to her book at the library.  Anyway, her book is an inspirational handbook that tackles all the areas of our lives in which we suddenly find ourselves asking, “how did I get here?”  I don’t know about you, but that question pops up frequently in my inner dialogues.

I love Mike Dooley.  If you’re not familiar with his daily “Message from the Universe” emails, then get familiar with them.  Sometimes, they’re exactly the motivation I need when I wake up.  So while I’ve followed Mike for awhile on Youtube and Facebook, I’ve never read a book by him.  Infinite Possibilities seemed… well… possible.

That’s it.  I'm happy to say I’m shifting into this arena for awhile to refuel my inspirational pool and take a break (because I seemed broke) from fiction until the Summer.

Himalayan Salt Lamps

Salt lamps. I've always wanted one, but didn't exactly want to pay $30-something dollars for one. Until now, sort of.  Instead, I bought two that operate as candle holders; buy one get one half off was hard to resist. And I love them, and hope I receive some of their curious benefits. 

If you're not familiar with salt lamps, they're lamps (or candle holders in my case) made from natural salt crystals. My understanding is there are fake ones, however the authentic ones come from the Himalayas.  Give or take any location differences I'm not aware of.  Now the benefits of salt lamps come from their ability to emanate negative ions into the atmosphere, something that you would find in nature. Negative ions sort of counteracts positive ions, or ions released from electronically equipment such as computers and televisions. Or man-made items–to be specific. Nonetheless, the negative ions given by the salt lamps are said to cleanse the ionic air. This, in turn, allegedly relieves people from headaches and respiratory problems caused by prolonged interaction with positive ions. Not that I have any of these health issues (haven’t had an asthma attack in years), but I can only imagine some of the possible, unspoken benefits of owning a salt lamp.

I suppose I'll try to keep things posted on their effects. However, I can say that after leaving them burning all night (which I don't suggest), I did wake up feeling pretty refreshed after some good sleep.  Even as I write this, with a good twenty minutes left before I have to get ready to go to work (I'll refrain from calling it a hellhole), I'm not moved to take one of those sluggishly sour naps.  I'm, in essence, okay.  Which is what I want.  Which is also why I like to try different metaphysical items such as salt lamps, smudge sticks, and stones.  I just want to feel good.  To feel okay.

*Off tangent sidenote: I actually dropped my vial of moldavite oil at work a few days ago.  I hadn't used it in a while, and here I was bringing it in to counteract some of the psychic poison in the area and I dropped it.  It smashed and the entire register area smelled like the oil.  I gathered the moldavite fragments to place in a replacement vial as soon as I get one.*

The video below is the infamous Hibiscus Moon sharing her knowledge on salt lamps.  Carry one, people.

Fresh Start with You Can Heal Your Life

It’s the New Year and I still want to stress (well, I should use a better term) the idea of giving ourselves a fresh, positive jolt for 2015. In doing so, I want to share one of my favorite books on creating favorable changes–both the outer and inner kind. It’s the book that brought me some much needed comfort over the years, because there‘s nothing exciting about dealing with those dark nights of the soul we all unavoidably must face.  And you know those nights, when it feels like Life is trolling you like a Whack-a-Mole game.  So unless you're like a few people I used to know who'd rather ride Life until the wheels pop off, you may have cause to focus on a little personal development. Nevertheless, the book, as seen to your left, is Louise Hay’s self-help debut, You Can Heal Your Life.

I was moderately familiar with Louise Hay back in my Sylvia Browne days (found somewhere in the headache of my early twenties).  Still, it wasn't until The Secret powered on 2006 with its quantum-ness talks on the law of attraction that a slew of related authors came blinking on my personal development radar.  Louise Hay, obviously, was one of those authors. Working at Borders, I checked You Can Heal Your Life out for a couple of days.  And I wasn't deterred by a manager who asked in subtle disgust whether or not I actually believed what you think/believe influences the makeup of your life. He was an adamant skeptic (and ain't nothing wrong with that) and thought I was crazy.  But really I was just searching for answers. I needed some mental and emotional healing; and to be perfectly honest, he, at the time, was part of my problem.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't truly appreciate You Can Heal Your Life until years later–after watching the video shown somewhere below this post. I mentioned in a past post what incident compelled me to seek out Louise Hay again.  Since then I've collected many of her books, audio lectures, DVDs, and even went to see her live in Atlanta during one of her I Can Do It tour stops.

See, I fell in love with You Can Heal Your Life because it is simple and uncomplicated with its purpose, while addressing multiple areas of personal development.  In an easy and comprehensible way, it covers relationships, jobs, aspirations, and spirituality (to name a few).  It leaves aside all of the quantum and scientifically researched talk for the fundamentals and basics.  It doesn't try to prove much of anything, while teaching you why you shouldn't sell yourself short as it concerns Life and the one you were given.  You learn how to recognize those bad thinking habits, and shift them from the inside out. And if it’s hard to drill your way through to change and giving up old, discouraging habits and attitudes, the affirmations given in the book are there to guide you in the right direction.  And say inner peace still doesn't come so easily, well you'll at least know that control how much of it you'll give yourself.

Nevertheless, I think ultimately (as it’s boiled down and compressed into my subconscious), You Can Heal Your Life reminds me that everything is going to be okay, and to trust the God/Universe. I went into picking up the book the second time because I needed to understand how everything is working out for my highest good, and from each experience only good will come. And that I am safe. And that I have to love the Self. Anytime I feel like things are clouding up around me, I pick up this book to beat it all back. It’s like an emotional beacon toward getting myself out of the rut of obsessing and over-thinking situations that are out of my hand. It allows me to let go, even just for a moment.

Lately I haven't been picking the book up as much as I feel like I should, so I will myself to keep it front and center and off my bookshelf. Next to my bed will do.  Just like the audio lectures/books of Louise Hay that I listen to when I just can't seem to fall asleep on my own.

The Universe... Again...

Yeah, yeah and yeah!  I took this from Mike Dooley and have to agree.  I see and talk to a lot of people who seem to be in limbo, waiting on something or some reason to do something.  And you can only talk to them so many times about gathering the resources they have available, and to at least try to make an effort no matter how small.  But one thing that happens when you continue to do that, you start to wait alongside them.  You start to take them on as a frustration within yourself.  You start to soak in those vibes.  It starts to infect your progress–your thinking.  It begins to make you angry.  Then you realize it's not worth it.  None of it.  Especially if you can see that you've come too far in your own progress.  Especially when you've been showing up to your own Life.  Give yourself a pat on the back and realize that you're outside of the 95% margin of people who wait.

Who I Am? by Megan Cyrulewski?

Megan Cyrulewski is an ordinary person who has faced extraordinary challenges and now wants to inspire people and show them that hope gives them the power to survive anything. Who Am I? is about her journey into post-partum depression, anxiety disorder, panic attacks, visits to the psych ward, divorce, domestic violence, law school, and her courageous struggle to survive with her sanity intact—and how a beautiful little girl emerged from all this chaos.

Excerpt from Chapter One of Who Am I?

Chapter One:  Ahhh…Young Love

Envy. There is a reason why it’s one of the seven deadly sins. It can kill you. It almost killed me.

The summer of 2004, I was 26 and just got out of a long-term relationship. Good man, he just wasn’t the right man for me.

I had just found out that my old college roommate had recently gotten engaged. The two of us were always “competing” during college: who was skinnier, who can pick up the most guys at the bar. Stupid girl stuff. Other friends of mine were either married or having babies. I think the last straw was finding out my high school sweetheart had gotten engaged. Somewhere in fantasyland, I always thought it was possible we might get back together. Needless to say, I was definitely envious.

That summer, my roommate, Jessica, bought a house. At the time we were sharing an apartment, but she asked if I wanted to move into her house. Jessica and I had known each other since high school and she was the best roommate, and one of the best friends, I have ever had. Without hesitation, I agreed. A month after moving in, we had a house warming party. That’s when I met Tyler*.

I knew Tyler slightly because he was engaged to one of Jessica’s friends, Natalie. Tyler and Natalie and been together for about three years. They had even come to a couple of parties Jessica and I had thrown at our apartment.  I had never really talked to him, though. Tyler and Natalie had broken up around the same time I had broken up with my-long term man.

Jessica didn't want to invite Tyler because she didn't want any tension between him and Natalie. A few days before the party, though, we found out Natalie was going to be out of town. Coincidentally, Tyler stopped by that same night to give something of Natalie’s to Jessica. That was the first time I had really looked at him and I liked what I saw: good-looking, goofy smile, and deep-blue eyes. The attraction was instantaneous. So, I decided to invite him to the house-warming party. Why the hell not? Natalie wasn't going to be there. After getting the eyes of death from Jessica, she reluctantly told him the day and time.

The night of the party, Tyler knocked on the door. When I opened it, I gave him a hug and told him I was glad he was there because at least I had someone to flirt with. I didn't really pay attention to him too much during the party.  But after everyone had left, he and I ended up talking until five in the morning.

A couple of nights later, we went on our first date. We went to dinner and then back to his house to watch a movie. We were very open with each other. I told him about my anxiety disorder, he told me about his drug addiction and how he had been clean for years. Five months later, I moved in with him, four months after that we got engaged and a year later, we were married. Needless to say, the relationship was on overdrive from the beginning.

The relationship wasn't perfect, but whose is? Tyler didn't like his current job and was looking for a new one.  Tyler was trying to quit smoking because he knew I didn't like it. Tyler was a recovering addict and going to NA meetings. It’s a stressful time. That became my mantra. Tyler got angry. “It’s a stressful time.” Tyler screamed at me. “It’s a stressful time.”

I was an independent woman in my mid-twenties, in a stable job making $55,000 and climbing up the corporate ladder. I understood stress. I was also in complete denial. This was the beginnings of what I would later understand was a domestic violence relationship and a relationship with someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). There were the signs of these disorders, of course, but I didn't recognize them at the time.

My paternal family is 100% Polish. In my grandmother’s generation, girls were expected to get married and have babies. A lot of babies. My grandmother was one of six children. After I graduated from high school, on Christmas Eve, my grandmother would pray that the next year I would get married and start a family. I always smiled and told her maybe. I loved my grandmother very much. She was the only grandparent I had ever known.

After Tyler and I got engaged, we went to my grandmother’s house to tell her the news she had been waiting for. When we told her, she stood up, pushed me aside, hugged Tyler and said, “God bless you.” The memory still makes me smile. Three months later, she had a stroke. In February 2006, seven months before the wedding, my grandmother passed away. Devastation doesn't even coming close to how I felt. I called in to work, stayed in bed and cried for two days.

The night of the funeral, my dad's company catered dinner at my parent’s house for our family. On the way to their house, I noticed that the car was low on gas. I stopped at a gas station and asked Tyler if he could pump the gas. Tyler was on the phone and told me to pump the gas myself. We were only two miles from my parents’ house. I was still upset and crying from the funeral. I asked him again to please just pump the gas. He didn't even bother to answer me. I got out of the car and pumped the gas myself. When I got back into the car, I told Tyler that I was upset and a little angry. What happened next was my first glimpse into the emotional abusive side of domestic violence.

“You are such a spoiled little bitch who expects the world to be handed to you,” Tyler screamed at me. “Turn the fucking car around.”

Not saying a word, I turned the car around and headed back home to drop off Tyler, who kept spewing vile words.

“You and your family think you're so much better than me. Did daddy pump your gas for you all the time? Well guess what? You actually have to do things yourself now. It’s time for you to grow up and live in the real world.”

Tears streamed from my eyes. I still had not said a word.

“Your grandmother probably killed herself because she didn't want to deal with you anymore. She probably got tired of your spoiled behavior and decided death was better than you. I’m glad I’m going home because I don't want to watch your fucking family cry all night.”

When we got back home, I parked in the driveway and finally let loose.

“How dare you!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “I just lost my grandmother! Get out of my car! Get out!”

Tyler started laughing. “Look at you. You're a joke. You should get some help for those anger issues of yours. Don't bother coming back, bitch. Your shit will be on the curb.”

I left and went to my parents’ house. When my dad asked about Tyler, I said we got into an argument and he’s at home. My dad, who is the family peacemaker and almost never says anything negative said under his breath, “What a night for him to pick a fight.”

About an hour into dinner, Tyler called me. He said he wanted to come over and apologize. At this point, I was so emotionally drained I really didn't care. When he arrived, he waltzed right into the house like nothing had ever happened. He pulled me aside and told me that he blew up because he was under so much stress from taking care of me the last couple of days. Looking back at the moment, I wonder how he even had the audacity to blame my grandmother’s death for his behavior. At the time, I was just glad he wasn't mad anymore.

The next couple of months were calm. No arguments and Tyler and I were having fun planning the wedding. Obviously, the argument the night of my grandmother’s funeral was a result of stress. We got through it and according to Tyler, it wouldn't happen again.

Early June 2006, I was in bed reading and waiting for Tyler to come home from a Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meeting. When he got home, he came upstairs and walked toward the bed. He stopped and asked if I smelled anything.

“No,” I said, a little confused.

“It smells like cat piss.” (We had a cat that sometimes urinated outside the litter box.)

Tyler looked around the room and picked up a bed pillow off the floor. He smelled it.

“She pissed on this pillow.”

I laughed. “It’s sad when the pillow is right next to me and I can't smell the pee.”

Tyler didn’t laugh. “Clean it up.”

“I'll put it in the wash tomorrow. Just throw it in the basement.”

Tyler picked up the pillow. “Bitch. You waited until I came home because you knew I would fucking clean it.” He ripped the book I was reading right out of my hands and threw it across the room. “Get off your fat lazy ass, get some paper towels  and clean it!”

I started to shake. The monster had emerged again.  I couldn't say anything. Tyler picked up the pillow and shoved it in my face.

“Smell it!” He screamed. “Can you smell it now, bitch? Now your face smells like cat piss. You’re disgusting. Who would want you anyway?”

Tyler threw the pillow back on the floor and stormed downstairs. I just sat in bed, paralyzed from fear. I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even cry.

I don't know how much time had passed before Tyler came back. Without saying a word, he picked up two water bottles I had sitting on the nightstand beside me, unscrewed the tops, and poured water on me. He laughed and went back downstairs.

I took off my pajamas, turned out the light and rolled to the dry side of the bed. Before long, I heard Tyler come up the stairs again. I began to shake. He ripped the covers off of me.

“You would sleep in a wet bed. I should have poured cat piss on you and let you sleep in that,” he laughed. “Get out of my fucking bed and sleep outside.”

I got out of bed and put on dry pajamas. I took off my engagement ring, threw it on the bed and left. I went to Jessica’s house and asked if I could spend the night. I didn't talk about what happened. I just told her that the engagement was off and I just needed to sleep. Jessica never asked any questions and I love her for that.

Before long, my phone rang and it was Tyler. He asked me to come back home. I was hesitant, but he convinced me to come back home and talk. I left Jessica a note and went back home.

When I got home, Tyler was sitting on the couch. “I’m going to get a six-pack of beer, drink it and kill myself.”

Shocked, I sat down next to him. “Do you want me to call someone? Should I call your sponsor? I don’t know what to do.”

Tyler kept repeating. “I’m going to kill myself.” He was crying, but there weren't any tears.

I hugged him. “We'll get through this. We’ll get help. Please don't kill yourself. I love you too much.”

“Thank you,” Tyler smiled. And just like that, he got up, told me he loved me, and went to bed.

Looking back, I now realize that this was Tyler’s way of manipulation. Tyler knew he let his anger get out of control, to the point that I walked away. To get me back, he subtly blamed me for what happened by alluding that he was going to commit suicide. At the time, I felt guilty for not cleaning the damn pillow. If I had cleaned that pillow, this never would have happened. I promised myself to be more careful in the future.

The next morning, my engagement ring was on my nightstand.**

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AUTHOR BIO

Megan Cyrulewski has been writing short stories ever since she was ten-years-old.  Eventually she settled into a career in the non-profit sector and then went back to school to get her law degree.  While she was in school, she documented her divorce and child custody battle in her memoir, Who Am I? How My Daughter Taught Me to Let Go and Live Again, which was released on August 2, 2014.  Megan lives in Michigan with her 3-year-old daughter who loves to dance, run, read, and snuggle time with Mommy.  Megan also enjoys her volunteer work with Troy Youth Assistance as the Fundraising Chair on the Board of Directors.

Beginning to End with Ms. Josephine

"Can you trust God for all things in every area of your life?  Have you ever been faced with life-threatening situations in your marriage, that made you want to give up on God, but he allowed you to be stable, keeping you still in order to see the salvation of the Lord in your flesh, mind and resources, etc.  Psalms 46:10a, 'Be still and know that I am God.'

Have you ever seen God transform the Natural into the Super-Natural?  From the beginning to the end.  When your mother tells you are not able to have children because of your unproductive organs, no menstrual period, no nothing.  Then you meet your husband that tells you all things are possible if ye only believe.  Later on God blesses you and your husband with two lovely daughters, when doctors said live with the fact you will never have children."

~Taken from From the Beginning to the End

This is a special, special post on a book by a woman I know personally.  Her name is Josephine Brooks-Clark, but we just call her Ms. Josephine!  Anyway, over a year ago she told me that she was working on writing and publishing a book inspired by her life with her passed husband.  She used to tell me that she had the necessary files and was ready to go to work!  Needless to say, I was ecstatic and encouraged by her; always inspired by people who make energizing commitments to share a part of themselves for the betterment of others.  And that’s precisely what Ms. Josephine did in her debut memoir, From the Beginning to the End, published by ABM Publications.

With a couple of hash browns and a cup of coffee, I sat down one morning to read Ms. Josephine’s book.  I didn't find myself out of bed until all 84 pages were read.  So I sat, fully grasped by her story outside of our old conversations.  From the Beginning to the End is a very personal memoir, so personal that I had to reach out to Ms. Josephine to bring her to Comic Towel to talk about her book first-hand.  Follow my questions and her response (in bold lettering) below...

1.  From The Beginning to the End opens with a testimony from yourself regarding your personal story.  So how did you decide where to start your story specifically?  As well as where to end it?

From the Beginning to the End starts with my testimony. How I got started? One day I was dealing with so many things going on in my life.  So while lying in bed, it came to me to start my life story of all I was going through. I was only 34 [at the time] and life began to make a turn from the good to the worst.  

I decided to end it [the book] after the death of my husband.  All that I was going through with sickness after sickness had [finally] ended. Thank God.

2.  I could only imagine how you dealt with some of the actual events and details you shared within your story–as they were happening in your life.  If you had to choose, what was probably the hardest detail to share with readers regarding your life?  And why was it hard to share?

The hardest part to share with my readers is when we were robbed.  THIS IS A STICK-UP [Chapter 4].  It was hard because every time I begin to speak of that situation, it bring tears to my eyes to see my hubby tied up in a knot and my two girls with a gun at their head.

3.  Could you offer any advice to someone who desires to share their personal story, such as yourself?  Does emotional distance take part in the writing process?

First I would say let fear of the unknown go, meaning fear of sharing your life because of friends that may read your story and criticize you.  I felt that if I shared my story, someone will be blessed to know that they can make it through the hard times. It is love that kept us together [her husband and herself] and my vows that I made to God and Man. In Sickness or Health, Richer or Poor, and for Better or for Worse.  

No, emotional distance has nothing to do with writing. When I left Alabama, it gave me the peace and quietness I needed to concentrate on writing.  This book was completed years ago, but fear of the unknown kept me from getting published.  

4.  If there is one thing you would wish to communicate and inspire into those who've read your book, what would that be?

I would like to impart that the beginning of a new thing shall come your way. Every door that has been closed unto you shall be opened, and every crooked path shall be made straight.  September and October are the months of increase, so don't put off today for tomorrow.

5.  Now that your book has been released, where do you plan to go from here?  Are there more books at work?

Since my first book has been released, my plans are to take a portion of my funds to feed the less fortunate. And yes, there are other books being published.

1. Seven Steps to Empower your Faith. 

2. The Seed of a Woman (both natural and spiritual)

3. Why Hurting People Hurt Others.

4. Never Underestimate the Power of a Woman

Thank you so, so much Ms. Josephine for sharing your story and giving me the opportunity to help share it with others.  

You can grab your copy of Ms. Josphine's book, From the Beginning to the End. 

[1] Cameron's Walking in this World

Listen, as I read Julia Cameron’s Walking in this World, I am jumping up out of bed with inspiration.  Trying to close and lock away the awaiting 5am alarm for the beginnings of a 6am shift, I put down the book at 11:11pm, cracked open my drawing tools, booted up my computer, and decided to do a little work.  I managed to ink a picture I sketched two months ago, and I've come to jot down the draft to this post as I work on another post’s draft, as well as put a couple of words to that book I’ve been not-so writing.  Why the sudden burst of inspiration so late at night?  Because of a few encouraging passages in the book woke my creative spirit.  And most certainly in divine order.  So I want to share these first few passages with you.  They're just quick and immediate jot-downs that, while the book is too enormous to contain, I wanted to make a purpose of documenting for my future self as well as you.  I hope they fire up your creative spirit as well.  Let’s go!

“Walking in this world, we do not go unpartnered.  We do not speak our prayers unheard.  There is someone or something listening with the most tender of hearts.  As we open to our inner life, our outer life also shifts.  Lives are transformed by a gentle form of listening that is like walking with a cherished friend who listens and then says, “You might want to try X.  Oh, look at that great squirrel…”

“As we go within, we discover that we are not alone there.  The loneliness we fear finding in art is actually the loneliness of disconnecting ourselves from our creativity and our creator.  As we try our hand literally at the making of something, we do meet our maker.  As we try to make more and more, more and more is made of us and through us.  'Not I, but the Father doeth the work.'”

“Begin where you are, with who you are.  In order to go where you want to go creatively, you have to start somewhere.  And the best place to start is precisely where you are.  This is true whether you are a beginning artist or someone with long miles down the track.  In fact, seasoned artist can waste time and energy mulling the dignity of their acquired position in the field when the truth is, they still need to just start again.”

“Five minutes might lead to ten, just as a tentative embrace leads to something more passionate.  Making art is making love with life.  We open ourselves to art as to love.”

“A small beginning is exactly that: a beginning.  Rather than focus on large jumps--which may strike us as terrifying and unjumpable--we do better to focus on the first small step, and then the next small step after that.”

“One day you just have to start and what you do that day is the beginning of success or failure.”

“Creativity is inspiration coupled with initiative.  It is an act of faith and, in that phrase, the word 'act' looms as large as the 'faith' that it requires.”

“When we do not act in the direction of our dreams, we are only 'dreaming.'  Dreams have a will-o’-the-wisp quality.  Dreams coupled with the firm intention to manifest them take on a steely reality.  Our dreams come true when we are true to theme.”

Let these words encourage you today, just as they have done for me.  Whether it’s to create something you've been pondering upon, or to simply step out in faith toward something that you desire to manifest in life.  Do it.  Wake yourself up and take that step.

(2) Quotes You May Need From Maya Angelou

Thank you for continuing.  Let's commence...

__________

"What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it.  If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.  Don't complain."

__________

Lord help me.  This quote takes me back to my early twenties when I was out of high school and realizing life wasn't what I dreamed it would be--so a part of me wanted to go back to high school.  That's not to say that as I approach 31 I have escaped my need to lay down and whine into the earth.  

It's safe to say that much of that whining has tapered down due to growth.  However, I can recall days where I screamed for life to open up to me.  From 18-21 I worked a fast food job where every day I ached over life, and how I didn't want to be at that job.  I still do it a little these days--or maybe more than I should.  The difference is that I now acknowledge that I have a switch in my mind.  It's ready for me to hit it, turning off my need to complain.  It takes some practice, but many times I just wish I would shut the hell up about a situation.  So I do it.  I hit the switch and revert to singing instead.  It's the easiest way to shut me up and vibrate something a lot less negative.

__________

"Too many times for comfort I have expected to reap good when I know I have sown evil.  My lame excuse is that I have not always known that actions can only reproduce themselves, or rather, I have not always allowed myself to be aware of that knowledge.  Now, after years of observation and enough courage to admit what I have observed, I try to plant peace if I do not want discord; to plant loyalty and honesty if I want to avoid betrayal and lies."

__________

I think I learned this somewhere in my childhood, in the form of how lies bring ugly inner and outer consequences.  I say this both from my experience telling lies, and watching a friend compulsively bask in them.  They never really lead to a good place inside of you, especially when they draw bad things to the outer you.  

Nonetheless, the phrase/idiom "you reap what you sow" is probably this quote at its barest.  It really goes without saying that what you put out you get back.  How you live life is how you'll see it.  Such expressions go on and on.  

__________

"Many adults show impatience with the young.  They want them not only to grow up, but to grow old, and that immediately.  They are quick to chide, criticize, and admonish..."

__________

My mom tried to make me as responsible-oriented the minute she could.  I was a baby warming up baby bottles for my sister.  I was a toddler fixing "innovative" sandwiches for our lunch.  I was always "watching" and "tending".  But nobody was really asking me about me.  If I was being my naturally silly self (which I learned early on to keep in low profile), I was told to stop it.  I couldn't have the haircut I wanted, so I hated getting haircuts.  When I wanted a pair of boots that I liked, I was quickly asked what for.  As if those boots were going to interrupt an image someone plastered on me, instead of unleashing the image I wanted to build of myself.  

I once asked my mom could I borrow her hoodie zip-up, because lots of kids wore them.  It was simple and dark blue.  Nothing bedazzled or sparkling.  Fitted me just fine.  Instead, I received an attitude for asking.  Without an issue, my sister did the same thing and wore the same hoodie frequently compared to my single time.  

I couldn't even have graphic tees to even feel marginally cool in school.  And from there the list goes on.  So growing up I was in a shell.  There was me, books, games, ideas, and drawings.  And a tremendous amount of developing self-respect.  Nevertheless, nobody asked me about my interest or desires.  I believe everyone always assumed that I was too level-headed and complacent to even be asked.  Everyone figured because I was quiet that I was smart and mature and had so much figured out.  However, I was also hopelessly doubtful about my future because nobody was taking part in blossoming my ideas and creativity as a kid.

__________

"We must re-create an attractive and caring attitude in our homes and in our worlds.  If our children are to approve of themselves, they must see that we approve of ourselves.  If we persist in self-disrespect and then ask our children to respect themselves, it is as if we break all their bones and then insist that they win Olympic gold medals for the hundred-yard dash."

__________

Ever heard of that Whitney Houston song "Greatest Love of All"?  Of course you have.  Now think about it lyrically.  I think this quote ties into that song, as well as the previous quote.  Soak on that for a minute and tell me if you gather the connection?  

Did you every grow up looking up to someone with a hint of distaste in areas you saw didn't fulfill your vision of them, as well as what you wanted to be from them?  I have.  As a child, it wasn't enough for me to look up to the adults around me.  I learned their sassy ways of back-talking each other to get their point across.  As well as their strength, willpower, and determination as striking characteristics over adverse times.  But I also grew up seeing limits in those individuals.  So no.  I still needed someone who dreamed and succeeded in manifesting what I wanted to do, or at least obtained the aura of limitlessness concerning success.  I wanted someone to show me how to earn a college degree.  Someone to show me how to be a singer and actor.  A writer and artist.  No one showed me how to do those things.  No one showed me how to believe in things.  So I had to learned to show myself, driven by this fragile ambition that those who put limits on life insisted that mine was limitless without ever expressing that to me through their own mouths.

__________

"I arrived at the conclusion that if a man came along who seemed to me to be honest and sincere, who wanted to make me laugh and succeeded in doing so, a man who had a lilting spirit--if such a man came along who had a respect for other human beings, then if he was Swedish, African, or a Japanese sumo wrestler, I would certainly give him my attention, and I would not struggle too hard if he caught me in a web of charm."

__________

The sex in this quotes irrelevant.  Nevertheless, the quote translates to me that you'll never know how love arrives in your life only when it has.  I was never good with romantic kind of love, but I've seen friends and family members go to war to make something that isn't right--right.  Eventually it explodes with all the pressure put into it, and the real emotional war begins.  But I think we all pray that love comes effortlessly.  Even if we have to tweak it with effort.  Something about "tweak" implies changing an individual, though.  So I don't know...

__________

"I am never proud to participate in violence, yet I know that each of us must care enough for ourselves to be ready and able to come to our own self-defense."

__________

Now a quote like this certainly describes what I learned directly and indirectly from those around me growing up.  As well as what I learned cherishing myself in those times I felt that was all I had.  I get sad when I see someone beat over the head concerning their lack of self-esteem.  And I get mad when I see bullies who think they can take it from someone.  People will try to take it from you and it's your job to make a stance on containing it.  Even if you have to knock somebody out to make that clear.

__________

"Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, lovers, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.

__________

A great closing quote.  I think I've shared so much between these two post and hope to hear your stories and what quotes you identify with and in which way.  In the meantime, thanks for stopping by and reading.  There's more to share, but I encourage anyone who hasn't read this book [Wouldn't Take Nothing For My Journey Now] to find it now.

So grateful.

Didn't read the first half?  No?  Then here!

(1) Quotes You May Need From Maya Angelou

Dr. Maya Angelou is undoubtedly powerful and influential with her words, and thankfully she doesn't come off as too much of a lyrical enigma of sorts.  I say this especially if you can capture the meaning behind her assorted catalog of material.  Still, in that respect, she is like the woman (or even mentor) that I probably needed closely in my youth.  Nevertheless, it takes me a couple of careful readings to grasp the meaning behind her poems, quotes and what have you in between.  Sometimes I find what I am looking for when I seek some advice to calm my over thinking spirit.  Then there are moments where I am attached simply to her story, as discovered after I read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings years ago.  Nevertheless, Wouldn’t Take Nothing For My Journey Now was read for answers; for some words I could use at this moment to help clear a couple of clouds or phantom feelings of inertia.

Quotes you may need from Maya Angelou’s Wouldn’t Take Nothing For My Journey Now...

__________

"Human beings are more alike than unalike, and what is true anywhere is true everywhere, yet I encourage travel to as many destinations as possible for the sake of education as well as pleasure."

_________

This quote very much resonates with me.  As someone who tends to feel swallowed up by his current surroundings/location, nothing screams more to my spirit than to be successful enough to have the freedom to choose where I want to go and expose myself to cultures I feel my spirit needs to "download" through hands-on experience.  See, I get a lot of puzzled gazes from people when I express how I wish to clap twice before bowing my head in a Japanese Shinto shrine, or sun-soak near travertine ponds in China--among other things.  Those puzzled gazes then ask why would I want to go visit those countries and do those things.  I tell them because I feel like I can express and be myself in unlimited places.

__________

"I like charitable people and like to think of myself as charitable, as being of a generous heart and a giving nature--of being a friend indeed to anyone in need.  Why, I ponder, did the benefactors not feel as I?"

__________

Like any quote, there are ways to reflect the author’s message onto our personal lives.  This quote in particularly caused me to recall the many occasions in which I’ve done something charitable for a friend simply as a friend.  Never asking for anything in return.  Only acting as a support system to their needs--and sometimes--requests.  The problem with that is sometimes those situations become one-sided, which would be okay if we all weren’t human and would sometimes like to have someone think of us out of common civility.  I experience this often with friends.  Playing the role of support for other individuals but sometimes finding myself disregarded or taken for granted because of that position I took.

__________

"Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction.  If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well."

__________

This quote is probably my favorite, taken from Angelou's essay titled, "New Directions".  The essay shares the story of Annie Johnson, a woman during the early 20th century who found herself an entrepreneur after marital discontent, followed by the divorcing of her husband.  Nevertheless, the message of the quote sung so clearly to me, but can appear pretty self-explanatory if not relative to the individual who finds his or her own meaning within it.  For me, it asks me to keep moving forward, boldly and anxious for whatever the future brings even if I have to drop some things (or people) off to reach what I feel is the right path.  I have to take control of this thing called life, and its many directions.  I would like to elaborate a little more, but will stop here.

__________

"Never try to take the manners of another as your own, for the theft will be immediately evident and the thief will appear as ridiculous as a robin with peacock feathers hastily stuck on.  Style is as unique and nontransferable and perfectly personal as a fingerprint.  It is wise to take the time to develop one's own way of being, increasing those things one does well and eliminating the elements in one's character which can hinder and diminish the good personality."

__________

I suppose at one point we've all been known to "bite someone's flavor" without understanding that we should shine and uphold our own.  Whether it's conscious or subconsciously done, it just seems a part of life.  Especially in adolescence.  Still, I think there comes a time when you have to play up on your own, personal strengths; likewise, become accountable for your weaknesses and the consequences they bring.  And if all else fails, we can try to remember that what we put out we get back.  If being yourself consist of you brightening up someone else's day with a smile, you'll get that back.  Should you wallow in misery, that, too, is all you'll get.  So many directions.  So much potential for over-thinking.

__________

"It is this belief in a power larger than myself and other than myself which allows me to venture into the unknown and even the unknowable.  I cannot separate what I conceive as Spirit from my concept of God.  Thus, I believe that God is Spirit."

__________

I'll be simple and quick with this semi-loaded quote.  It can go in so many directions that I don't care to go to.  I am not religious, or at least fashioned underneath the banner of "organized religion".  However, I believe in God.  Call it God, Universe, etc.  It doesn't matter.  To each his own.  As for me, God is a force that consist of love inside other matters that are complex and unreachable in human form.  To me, God is not this humanized persona many religions stack upon.  Nonetheless, I would be a fool to believe that I can traverse this world without a belief in God.  I'm scared of anyone who is able to move through this earth without such to ground them.  That's why I like this quote.  I also must trust that there is a power larger than me that can push me through the unknown that makes up being alive and uncertain about my existence/purpose.

__________

"Seek the fashion which truly fits and befits you.  You will always be in fashion if you are true to yourself, and only if you are true to yourself."

__________

I am far from being a fashionista or even fashionably conscious.  That's not to say that I have split the link between what I wear and what kind of attention it will attract, as well as how I feel in it.  I still strive to look relatively good and decent, checking the mirror and changing tops and bottoms seconds before I leave the house.  However, one thing is true about me: I don't try to keep up with what is "in".  I like my scruffy slip-in shoes.  I wear t-shirts years old.  And I have several comfortable pairs of jeans stashed in my clothest because I'm too lazy to make room for new ones.  My clothes and shoes aren't big name brands.  Never had a pair of Jordans in my life that didn't come second-hand and out of fashion from a cousin.  I shop at Target and, if I'm out accompanying a friend, Ross.  I like to spend less than $50 on clothes, but I took advantage during H&M's After-Christmas sale where I got $10 off a $20 purchase.  So it's nice to have two really cool t-shirts for the price of one, but the fact is that I rather spend my money at Barnes & Nobles as opposed to Footlocker.  And I'm okay with that.  That's being true to myself.

__________

"One day the teacher, Frederick Wilkerson asked me to read to him.  I was twenty-four, very erudite, very worldly.  He asked that I read from Lessons in Truth, a section which ended with these words:  'God loves me.'  I read the piece and closed the book, and the teacher said, 'Read it again.'  I pointedly opened the book, and I sarcastically read, 'God loves me.'  He said, 'Again.'  After about the seventh repetition I began to sense that there might be truth in the statement, that there was a possibility that God really did love me.  Me, Maya Angelou.  I suddenly began to cry at the grandness of it all.  I knew that if God loved me, then I could do wonderful things, I could try great things, learn anything, achieve anything.  For what could stand against me with God, since one person, any person with God, constitutes the majority?" 

__________

I related to this passage and wanted to share it.  I had a similar experience once at work.  On two occasions I found myself frustrated, wrapped in my dreams and stuck hauling trash to the dumpster and sweeping the parking lot clean.  On the first occasions I was sweeping away when a voice inside me said: "I am here.  You are not alone."  The second time I was wheeling away trash when a voice said: "God wants you to be happy".  There was this undeniable Truth in both occasions that I exploded into gleeful laughter.  I realized how right the voices were.  It was only I resisting those Truths by clouding my mind with my current situation.

__________

"There are many incidents which can eviscerate the stalwart and bring the mighty down.  In order to survive, the ample soul needs refreshments and reminders daily of its right to be and to be wherever it finds itself."

__________

This quote is taken from the essay titled, "Further New Directions".  It's here that Maya Angelou share details during her teen years, where she was fired from a job.  Sadden by the incident, her mother encouraged her by reminding her that she will look for another job and survive again should something happen to that one.  What I like most about this quote is the use of the terms "refreshments" and "reminders".  Sometimes, alone, I am not enough to lift my spirits when they are down.  At least my thinking can't remove itself from troubling and anxious thoughts.  That's when I have to surround myself with things that refresh and remind me of how I want to think/feel.  Whether I play a Louise Hay audio book, watch a TV show that inspired me as a youth, or simply come onto the blog, I use those things to pull myself out of muddy thoughts so that I can proceed to survive and move forward.  Truth be told, we need everything we can get to survive when we began to attack ourselves.

__________

Finishing up in the second part...