Using Canva to Create the Perfect Spreadshirt Banner Size

Okay.  So to save someone the trouble, I present to you how to create the perfect size Spreadshirt banner.  And it's all done via the online creation tool, Canva.  This is for those who want a nice banner that stretches properly over their web shop.  And not so much sitting above the fold as a box surrounded by negative space.  (Anyone else hates that?)

First.  Get into your Canva account.  Duh, right? Anyway, in the top right-hand corner is the option of creating your own dimensions.  You want that, as opposed to using the templates Canva has already prepared.  Naturally, you’ll need to input the right width and height.  Go for 1280 x 343 in pixel size.

WDEA 1370 AM Interview with Nevada Barr on New Book, Boar Island

The Anna Pigeon Beat Goes ON!

Just finished the amazing Blind Descent and must gathered Anna Pigeon #7, Liberty Falling.  After all that used bookstore issues, this was an immediate choice.

Need to know what happens in the next book!

This Ever Happen to You? | Used Book Struggles

NOTE: Because of some technical issues around the image folder, I lost all the "proof" and "evidence" spoken about in this post.  And, since I returned the book, I have no way of getting it back on track.  Sorry!

Had me a good cup of coffee.  Caught up on all my TV shows (can we talk Empire and Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D?).  And was ready to take down the last 125 pages of Nevada Barr’s Blind Descent (Anna Pigeon #6).  I was getting into the reading when I reminded myself how I didn’t have the following book, Liberty Falling, in my possession.  As of late, I haven't been into reading anything but Barr's park ranger sleuthing adventures.  My momentum was going just too damn good to break; I needed to exhaust myself of Barr's shit-stirring and pessimistic Anna Pigeon character.  Besides, Barr had an overarching sub-narrative of Anna's story begging for resolution.  It's a "Damn!  What's gonna happen?  I need the next book!" situation.

Y'all know how it is! 

So what to do other than dash through upcoming rain to the used bookstore to find a copy?  Partially tattered or not, I needed Anna's next adventure.  And with an easy $5 bill tucked in my struggling wallet, I was ready to rectify my situation.

I saw this moderately decent and only available copy of Liberty Falling.  And as always in used bookstores, I flipped through it a couple of times.  I do this mostly to feel a book's handling–particularly with mass markets.  I think we all know some people can get out of control with mass markets.  Bending and breaking spines.  Dog-eared pages.  A little too much yellowing for an individual's taste.  Torn pages.  Burnt pages.  The occasion buried bookmark.  Sometimes strands of hair and food residue.  Or mysterious residue.

None.  With the exception of its age and a temperately blitzed spine, all seemed acceptable.  Workable.  Manageable, if you will.  I would grabbing a matching colored marker to "paint" over the spine's creases later.  You know, bookshelf whip appeal.  

We have a deal.  My Saturday and Sunday was set.  

$3.85 broken out of $5.

I got home to sanitize the book.  Yes, I use sanitizing wipes on used books.  Followed by a sage smudging.  And yes, I believe in spirit attachments.  I have this niggling superstition that for every used book I buy, some dead person’s relative brought his or her stack in to unload a house going up for sale.  I'm from the South.  Blame parts of my folkloric upbringing.

Anyway, I took an anxious, closer look before putting the book on my shelf as my next reading.  This is what halted me…!  And no, for whatever blind and desperately-seeking-Anna reason, I didn't notice this before buying it.

Kdrama Factor: Incomplete Life

Now the second Kdrama I’m watching is Incomplete Life.  The Korean word, per its Korean title, is misaeng.  Apparently the drama is based off a web comic by a Korean cartoonist named Yoo Tae-Ho.  The comic ran from January 2012 to October 2013.  As for Incomplete Life, it aired from October to December of 2014.  Twenty episodes even.

So what’s it about?  Twenty-something Jang Geu-Rae was once a thriving and prolific baduk player.  From his childhood forward he dedicated himself to the game.  So as an adult he stood on the threshold of becoming a professional.  He even forfeited completing high school and earning his GED to continue his passion, by sliding up in rank.  

Now this next part of his story I think I understood correctly.  Anyway, somewhere in the mix Geu-Rae's father dies, leaving just him and his mother.  Now the man of the house, Geu-Rae gives up baduk and starts working odd jobs to keep the house running.  He works as a delivery boy, bathhouse cleaner, and a convenience store clerk simultaneously.  His dad is gone, and now baduk and his education is sailing by him.  With what remains as a stream of dead end jobs, Geu-Rae is left disappointed and hurt by life. 

Then a secret–and unconfirmed as far as I’ve gotten–consociate recommends Geu-Rae into an internship with One International trading firm.  Pushed by his mother, Geu-Rae walks into the offer.

But with absolutely no education or credentials to back him up, Geu-Rae faces bullying taunts once his background is found out.  And the more he insist on pushing forward with his internship, the more he suffers navigating his way through what’s deemed the “real world.”  Yet, he has a little help along the way in the form of warmer friendships with other peers.  And when situations get too tight, he employs his strategic thinking skills developed from excelling at baduk.  This allows him to chess piece his way in and out of trouble, as he finds acceptance in the office.  As well as in himself.

Crime Fiction Writer Tess Gerristen NWS Event

Tales of the Slayer | Buffy Goodness

As one of those debut episode, long-living passionate Buffy, the Vampire Slayer fans, it goes without saying I watch the series year round.  Episode after episode (except season three’s obnoxious Xander-driven "Zeppo" episode).  Season after season.  I’m there.  I used to run through the DVD boxsets, then indulged in the convenience of watching the damn show on Netflix.  Bandwidth be damned.

I’m currently on the last four episodes of my favorite season–which would be season three.  And we all know the theme of this season: good slayer versus dark slayer.  And sure, I would love to dive into all the complexities, context, and other conversations (ha, 3 c’s) about the topic.  But it’s been done time and time again.  Nevertheless, my longing interest on the topic reverted back to the whole slayer mythology.  I’ve always, always been interested in slayers past–particularly Nikki Wood.  First, she’s a black slayer.  Second, every single thing about her was ripped out of Pam Grier's rampaging performances in 70's Blaxploitation films.  Seriously, it’s a sub-genre of film sworn to Queen Grier, and certainly an immediate source to fulfil my thirst in the black female action hero.  As opposed to her many counterparts.

But I digress.

My point is, while pondering about slayers, I realized I had the Tales of the Slayer books to go back to re-familiarize myself with many of their stories.  However, some stories I remember perfectly.  Even after years of finishing her story in one of the volumes, imprints remained.  So with a little dusting, it would be nice to dive back into the slayer fray for a tale or two.  

No, for real.  These books have been shamefully in a tote for over ten years.  Sick.  I know.

Nonetheless, let me see if I can flip through and recall some of my favorite slayer stories.  Or at least the ones better written.  Because some of the writers… well… suffered to tell a decent slayer story.  And yes, somewhere after volumes three my interest faded over the years; I never went back to get volume four.  Pitifully.  But now’s the chance to reconnect and order that SOB.  Especially because that’s the volume featuring slayers facing the Cruciamentum (those who know understand what the hell that ridiculous test is).

So.  Anybody got a favorite Slayer out there?  Comment below.

Weekend Read: Nevada Barr's Endangered Species

But we saw this coming...!

I won’t go over the excitement again.  But let’s just get to it.  Endangered Species by Nevada Barr.  Anna Pigeon #5.

This time Anna is on the Cumberland Island, off the Georgia coast.  With all its history, Anna’s there on fire presuppression duty.  But no matter how tedious it is to wait around for the potential of fire, the job pulls her into overtime.  So, it is what it is.  However, things don’t stay boring for long.  A drug interdiction plane crashes on the island, killing its only two passengers.  Once some sabotage is discovered, park ranger, Anna Pigeon, steps forward to find a killer.

Kdrama Factor: Heaven's Garden

I suppose this post is somewhat aligned with my recent take of Kevin Kwan’s second novel, China Rich Girlfriend.  Anyway, I wanted to continue writing about my current Kdrama delights.  Mostly because I took some time from watching so many dramas back to back.  And recently refreshed my viewing taste with something new to spoon 'n' sip nightly before bed.

I watch Kdramas between Hulu and Netflix–via the PS4.  Me watching dramas on the computer feels like my eyes are being cooked ten minutes into my attempts.  Nonetheless, I prefer Hulu as my main source.  Mostly because they update with new shows and episodes weekly.  Whereas Netflix gets shows all in one serialized lump a while later.  However, Netflix has ad-free benefits.  Which works for me sometimes, despite it having a smaller library of titles.  Nevertheless, Hulu recently had a ton of Kdramas (and sadly the Japanese dramas as well) streaming licenses expire.  So their library recently switched around and is now kind of pitiful compared to those glory years where I lay absorbed in all they had available.  Even most of my favorite dramas were extracted from the roster.  And some future viewing prospects simply vanished from my Watchlist que.  

Slowly, a few older and recent dramas trickled in as replacements, but no one can ignore that blunt gap left in Hulu’s catalog.  I looked at it one day, and the once seemingly endless scroll of titles was marginalized to a quarter's worth of remnants.  Yet, out of the process, here is one survivor I consider my latest obsessions.  

I should go ahead and disclaimer how this post is probably geared toward those who’re familiar with this genre of entertainment.  You know, Asian-centric melodrama to the ninth degree.  So if the story sound hooky, it’s the norm.  Although I honestly think this drama lean more toward a conceivably, realistic batch of scenarios.  (Except for the grandmother who was spirited away.)

Library Haul Hustle PART 2

Haven’t even been a full week before I found myself back at the public library’s used bookstore.  It happens, eh?  So, per usual, I have to share what I came out with.  And all three were only $2.  So let’s make this haul quick. 

Somehow I found myself in the psychology section.  I got Kay Redfield Jamison’s bestselling memoir, An Unquiet Mind.  It’s her memoir on being a doctor specializing in manic-depressive illness (or bipolar), while struggling with it herself.

Then I got another bestseller, which needs no summary.  It's The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls.  Finally got my hands on a copy.  And it was only .50.

After repeated trips and browsing sessions, I finally took the bait and grabbed the third book in Dana Stabenow’s Kate Shugak mystery series, Dead in the Water.  Having never read anything by the author, or her Alaskan-based sleuth, I’m holding on to book three as a reminder to take on the series in the future.

A Great Interview With Author Sue Grafton | Coffee in Hand (Video)

#ClueMeInPC: Q&A w/Patricia Cornwell (Video)

Oh, Yeah! This is FINALLY Happening!

So yes.  After all the moaning I did about not finding Nevada Barr's Endangered Species (Anna Pigeon #5), in town, I just shut up and ordered it.  A Barnes & Noble 20% coupon was expiring in hours, and being a member, shipping is free.  Double NO-EXCUSE!

The excitement to continue Anna's murder-solving, park ranger adventures are continuing forward.

PS: My bemoaning recent post where I mention the series is HERE.

Me waiting on Thursday, 5/12:

I Wanna Buy This Book Butttt...

…Just about every review on Amazon claims this woman is a narcissistic.  Okay.  That's fine with me.  But then they also claim she went to court for tax evasion, stemming back from her early 2000s tax returns.  Trialed in 2010, she was convicted then subsequently deported.  Oh MY!  It actually makes me want to go back and pick the book up, though.  But the reason I point this out is because it's touted as an inspirational autobiography, but told by a woman driven by greed.

Heh.  And still I think I want to go back and get this book!

For the sake of providing a synopsis…

"When Diana Lu was three years old, her family was forced to leave their comfortable middle class life in the city to live an impoverished coal-mining village at the edge of the Gobi Desert for China s culture revolution "reeducation." Life in that remote place was a constant struggle against hunger and fear. Passionate & determined, Diana resolved to create a better life based on her own talents and dreams; she turned down prestigious job after medical school. Overcoming parental & societal objections, she explored university teaching, real estate, and other fields before finding her niche as a top executive in the optical fiber industry. In 1997 Diana moved to the United States, and launched her own international enterprise, melding the Western & Chinese business cultures to work with clients globally. Operating in a competitive, male-dominated high-tech field, she achieved astounding success from earning $30 a month in 1993 to in ten years making sales worth hundreds of millions of dollars. This inspirational book part memoir, part guidebook to personal and business success illustrates her remarkable journey."

What do you think?

Naoko Takeuchi's Original Manga Scans

Public Library Used Bookstore Hustle

While reading may be a little slow this week (spending over a week with a book that’s good, but can’t quite intercede the distractions that make up life), I’ve decided to stop over-browsing my public library’s used bookstore and actually buy something.  These two books (and many more left abandoned) have been in my hands throughout each of my visits there.  And both for good reason.

My Top 5 Favorite Crystals & Stones

Crystals, stones, rocks, and gemstones.  One of the clearest symbolic gateways into New Age and metaphysical studies.  And as these studies and philosophies go, these minerals come charged with energetic healing properties direct from within our planet.  They’re constructed through a variety of temperatures and pressures–straight out of the Earth’s crust.  Some even emerging from cooled lava.  But as a whole, they’re comprised of compacted plant and animal life, squashed by a multitude of adjoining layers.  Heck, the first layer started probably as far back as the Paleozoic Era.  Of course certainly beyond then as well.  Nonetheless, the processing of minerals into the crystals and stones we know now are compounded with stories of life connected to the earth.  And it's these stories of life that serves us through the stone's energetic vibrations.  It sounds super esoteric at its best, I know.  But have you ever picked up a penny dated 1980, and studied it in concerns to the year it was made?  Have you ever wondered whose hand it first crossed?  What store and till it was first dropped in?  And who was the last to have slipped it into his or her pocket?  And how did it end up at your feet?  Would its previous owner even miss it?  Or need it as they come up short at his or her trip to the convenient store?  

Now take all those thoughts and imagine how for the 36 years that penny has been in existent, each time it changed hands it sipped something energetic from its handler.  Then imagine how holding that penny makes you feel?  Sad?  Happy?  Alive?  Where do those feelings come from?

That's how I believe crystals work.  Except you're holding something harboring energy from the earth from possibly over 252 million years ago!

Now I don’t claim to have a handle on the subject of crystals/stones and their energetic vibrations.  However, placebo effect or not, I do appreciate the gesture that comes with believing in the power of crystals.  And like many things I appreciate, I've come to research as much as I can to discover how close are the theories true for myself.  So I won't sit here and claim to have all the answers, especially when some of my research has led me to believe I don’t always work closely enough with my crystals for them to be effective, exactly.  So if any progress has arrived over the years, it's probably more subtle than I've come to realize.  

However, I like them.  Some I’ve been carrying in a pouch in my pocket for four years.  Some I occasionally pile underneath my pillow at night.  And when it comes to cleansing, I give them the proper sea salt bath before allowing them to dry in direct sunlight.  Others, I smudge to “reset” their vibrational frequency after a long day of absorbing others’ energy myself.

Researched and accepting of their individual purposes in fulfilling my personal intents over the years, here are my Top 5 Favorite Crystals & Stones that I never leave home without.

Deserving a Re-Read? Victoria Beckham's Learning to Fly

So I was digging through my tote of older books–as in books with zero chance of acquiring some real estate on my shelves–and came across this one.  It’s been a good ten years since I read Victoria Beckham’s autobiography, Learning to Fly.  And this minor rediscovery comes begging for me to read her story again.  As in a little sooner than now.  I mean, really.  Posh Spice was and always will be my favorite Spice Girl. 

 







So while my R. L. Stine Fear Street series won’t find its way out of that tote any time soon, and nor will all those old middle school reads, I kind of think Posh wins the bid for a space on the shelves.

My Kim Harrison Reads Are Suffering...

If only I could find my way back to this series.  Especially considering it ended back in 2014.  You'd think I would run to wrap it up–you know, having read 9 out of the 13 books in the series.  But I just can't seem to get with Rachel Morgan again.  Yet, as this post may indicate, she keeps crossing my mind.  Over and over again.  Her voice speaks from the bookshelf grave, asking me to pick up book 10.  And actually get past the first twenty pages.  The echo of her voice is desperate for me to finish her bounty hunter/witch/demon story.  I sigh in a mix of pain and relief of my escape.  But I'll never forget those 2007 afternoons where I had an hour or two between school and work.  I would sit down at McDonald's and read these books.  Actually, I would gobble them up!  If only Rachel spent a little less time negotiating over her hormones, then things would've turned out differently.

Oh well.  Maybe this summer I'll finally pick up the series where I (swiftly) jumped ship from.  And... well... try again.  Maybe with a glass of wine to go along with the reading.  A sip for every occasion Rachel slobs all over herself over a shirtless man.  Who happens to be an elf-thing.  Who happens to be a killer somehow in need of the reader's sympathy.  The details get fuzzy as the years go by, but the inner ache remains the same.

Aw, hell.  Forget that noise!  Maybe I'll try again when I have nothing else available to read.  (Ah, let's go to Barnes & Nobles and order books today!)

R.I.P RACHEL MORGAN

(FOR NOW!)

Getting the Hang of Zazzle

I’ve been going up the wall lately on optimizing a controlled and organized Zazzle store.  Before products were arranged in any and all kinds of order.  This left visitors scrambling all over the store.  Which isn't good!  Even I came frustrated with the disarray I’d created.  Added to my organizing, I’ve also been reviving the color of my original uploads from 2012.  A few color correcting techniques in the drawing process have stepped up since 2012.  So the difference from then and now were a little too noticeable for me to ignore.  

I wouldn’t call it grueling, but I’ve been up until like 4am all weekend redoing all my previous faults.  I think we've all been there, where it's late but we tell ourselves just one more action before we sleep.  Then one action leads to ten.  

So here are a few of my considerations to optimizing a fresh Zazzle store.

Another Abandoned Series I Haven't Licked

In Me Trilogy Order

1.  It Sleeps in Me

2.  It Wakes in Me

3.  It Dreams in Me

I’m ashamed I’ve collected, but haven’t completed, the In Me trilogy by Kathleen O’Neal Gear.  If you’re not familiar with Gear, she and her husband, W. Michael Gear, co-authored fiction and non-fiction books surrounding Native American history.  Or, to be specific, the First North Americans.  Which is the title of the couple’s most popular and long-running historical fiction series.  On occasion the two step out and write books alone, and this is where the In Me trilogy came from Kathleen.  It’s a trilogy that has always caught my eye, while shelving them on bookstores.  However, it would be years later when I spent a night fighting a tipsy disposition before I actually finished the first book.  Yet, I'm sad to say, the following two books hibernated on my shelf thereafter.  I simply never made it back.  And I say so despite really enjoying the first book.  I guess it was a situation of never wanting to spoil a debut's magic.

Nevertheless, the series is about a young High Chieftess name Sora.  She’s the head of a Native American tribe called the Black Falcon Nation.  Sora, described as extraordinarily beautiful and desirable, was married to a warrior named Flint.  Flint was a warrior who would kill men with even the slightest glance toward his wife.  So with a possessive and territorial rage uncontrolled, Flint divorces Sora and moves back to his original clan.

Grocery Shopping Gets On My Nerves (Vlog)

GUEST POST: Tales of Blood and Sulphur: Apocalypse Minor by J. G. Clay

Booktrope Publishing Presents

Tales of Blood and Sulphur: Apocalypse Minor Volume 1 by J. G. Clay

Title: Tales of Blood and Sulphur: Apocalypse Minor Vol. 1

Author: J. G. Clay

Genre: Horror

Length: 212

Release Date: July 20, 2015

ISBN: 978-1513701998
Synopsis: Eleven Tales steeped in Blood and reeking of Sulphur

J.G Clay takes you on a journey through the voids of Reality and into dark places where demons, mutants and inter-dimensional creatures taunt, taint and corrupt Humanity. Survival is not guaranteed, sanity is not assured and death lurks in every corner. These are the Tales of Blood and Sulphur: Apocalypse Minor; eleven twisted tales of terror and mayhem……

There are cracks in the skin of Reality. Some are microscopic, others are as wide as a four-lane motorway. As the fault lines increase and widen, the door to our world shines like a beacon in the darkness, a warm and inviting sight to others beyond our understanding. When They cross over into our realm, The Tales begin......

A gambler taking one last desperate throw of the dice. A struggling writer making an unholy alliance. An eternal being fighting to stay alive in the financial capital of India. A man burdened with a terrible town secret. The Law Enforcers who must never cry. The End of Days live and direct from the rural heartland of England.

The blood is warm, the sulphur is burning, the tales will be told, the Apocalypse Minor is imminent.

Bozo Nightmares? Get Real: A Very Short History of Tales of Blood and Sulphur: Apocalypse Minor

My name is J.G Clay. Rather, my pen name is J.G Clay. I like it. It’s snappy, stylish and a bit mysterious. I wrote and released a book called ‘Tales of Blood And Sulphur: Apocalypse Minor’. Again with the snappy stylish thing. It’s a great title. It could have been so different. Somewhere out there in an alternative Universe, it could have been ‘Bozo Nightmares’ by Steven Singh. I’m glad it wasn’t but this is one of those little stories woven into the backstory of ‘Tales of Blood and Sulphur’. 

There are (probably) a hundred more anecdotes but to be honest, I can’t remember them all. Tracing the origins of a novel is pretty easy. Get an idea. Sketch out idea. Write idea. Rinse and repeat. Nice, neat and infinitely easier to write about when someone asks for a guest blog on the history of your book. A short story collection is a different matter altogether. For instance, I can tell you that ‘On The Beach’, the first of the Tales, was originally written in 1998, that ‘God Bless George A. Romero’ started life as the day to day blog of a zombie holocaust and that one of the stories I dropped for what would become my debut was a rather pleasantly titled piece called ‘F**k Art, Let’s Dance’. But the exact dates of what happened where and with who are a bit elusive. SO, a potted history is all I can manage.

Four of the original seven stories that made up Tales of Blood and Sulphur were pieces that had been hanging around in one form or another since my late twenties. I’ve been writing since I was about thirteen; not very well admittedly but writing nonetheless. The idea of dusting some ‘Golden Oldies’ and retooling for a forty year old had a lot of appeal (mainly because it didn’t involve having to think up new stuff). I got to work polishing and honing this old stuff around February 2015 with the vague idea of expanding on the sparse pieces I had. But, as ever with this writing thing, something happened. Not only did I enjoy what I was doing, but new ideas reared their head. The floodgates were opening. They haven’t stopped since. The newbies (as I like to call them) - ‘Legally Dead’, ‘LLTC (Lucifer Loves The Clash)’ and the aforementioned ‘The Writer’s Friend’ - were all finished in about two weeks. Some other stories also cropped up but they were put to one side for a rainy day, a decision which I’ve always been happy with. One of those bonus tracks eventually went on to become the Doctor Who-ish ‘The World Stops When The Smiling Men Cry’. ‘F*ck Art, Let’s Dance’ and a story exploring colonial mind-sets and racism called ‘Mizungo’ were also born during this time. At the time of writing, neither one had has appeared in print. I’m sure that one day they will.

Stories in hand, I put the book on Amazon and Createspace and released ‘Tales of Blood and Sulphur’ on 13th May, 2014. It sold a few copies, got some great reviews and also attracted the interest of a publishing company called Booktrope, the same publisher I am still with. Now the fun starts. Armed with an editor, proof-reader, cover designer and Dane Cobain, my book manager, ‘Tales’ was ready for a new lease of life. With two pairs of fresh eyes on the case, the original seven stories expanded to ten plus a ‘wraparound story’ to pin everything together. The ‘wraparound’ was suggested by my editor Christopher Nelson and it was a master stroke. Not only did it give the stories a framework to hang from but it also gave me a new character to play with in the form of Null, the mystic and not quite human storyteller. He’s my crypt-keeper, the man (ish) who will bring you a new ‘Tales’ every year as well as taking payment in souls.

With a stunning cover, fantastic editing and proofreading, work was completed in short order and ‘Tales of Blood And Sulphur: Apocalypse Minor’ was unleashed onto the public in July 2015. Sales have been moderate but the reaction has been fantastic. More importantly, that first release has given me back the passion and hunger for storytelling, something that I’d lost in the years previous.

I wonder whether the passion would have stayed the same if I had gone with the original title. Somehow I doubt it.

Author Information & Links

J.G Clay is definitely a Man of Horror. There can be no doubt. Putting aside the reverence he has for the horror greats, such as King, Barker, Herbert, Carpenter, Romero and Argento, there is another fact that defines his claim for the title of the 'Duke of Spook'. He was born on Halloween night. By a quirk fate, it was also a full moon that night. Co-incidence?

Here at Clay Towers, we don't believe in coincidences.

The 41 year old hails from the Midlands in the United Kingdom, is married with one step child and two dogs that bear a strong resemblance to Ewoks. Beyond the page and the written word, he is music mad and can hold down a tune on a bass guitar pretty well. He is an avid reader and also has an enduring love of British sci-fi, from the pages of the '2000A.D' comic to the televised wanderings of Gallifrey's most famous physician. Clay is also a long-time fan of the mighty Birmingham City Football Club and endures a lot of flak from his friends for it.

Connect with J. G. Clay

J. G. Clay's Website

Facebook Page

Twitter

Purchase Tales of Blood and Sulphur Apocalypse Minor Vol. 1 

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Barnes & Noble Nook

7 Mysteries/Series I Own But Haven’t Licked

Let’s get a couple of things out of the way first: the mystery genre is king of the serializing format.  Book after book.  Release after release.  Year after year.  We follow the misjudgments, drawbacks, and achievements of whatever leading star protagonist we’ve grown attached to.  Attached enough to carry us through book one to book... [insert your number here]. 

Some series are short-lived, and some are decades long.  Some series entries are strong, and some are weak.  In many cases, the author runs out of ideas and begins phoning in his or her stories.  But a few has consistent, formula-driven quality.  Whereas others hit-or-miss after about the fifth or tenth book.  Then there’s cases where an author loses some of his or her audience completely.  Whether it’s by pulling the trigger on loaded opinions, expressed through characters.  Or increasing the vulgarity behind plotted sex and/or crime.  Or–the worse offense–implanting shock factor techniques instead of fleshing out a plausible story.  You refer whatever occasion you've left an author's work for.  

Whether you chose to keep reading a series depends on your level of commitment to author and star.  And “commitment” is the operative theme of this post.

Recently–with so many books coming in–I struggled with what to read.  (Don’t you hate when you have plenty at your fingertips, yet feel you can’t define your mood enough to find which book will serve?)  I scanned my shelves and new-books pile reasoning with myself why this title may work versus this one.  I knew one of them needed to quell my reading thirst, especially with a thunderstorm coming into town.  Candles, books, the pattering rain and roiling thunder; a cozy reading session in manifested!

While I eventually found a book to read (Nevada Barr’s Anna Pigeon #4, Firestorm), I gaped at the number of mystery/thriller series I’ve abandoned to the shelves over the years.  Some are seven years within their abandonment.  And a few of the unreads I’m a little ashamed–given my love of the genre–to admit I've left to collect dust.  But where did all these books come from?  Who recommended them?  How old was I when I bought them?  And why did I abandon them in the hopes of retreating to them later, at a more desperate date in the future?

That’s what I want to ask and explore in this post.  For those who’ve read any of these books/series, please provide me validity for my issues at hand.  Or express how important it is to keep going.

1.  Robert B. Parker’s Family Honor

First in Parker’s Sunny Randall private-eye series, Family Honor has all the ingredients of the genre I love.  You know, a female detective doing her thing piecing together a murder conspiracy.  Yet, the unfortunate draw is I never finished the book.  It’s been years since I picked it up, so I can’t pinpoint why I bailed on Sunny’s debut more than halfway through.  But I have an idea, stirred by how certain memory imprints emerges after visual cues.  See while Parker is one of the kings of this genre, he left me unfulfilled.  But why?  Parker's the master of dialogue, right?  Well, it's his tool to swiftly get his scenes, narrative, and plot points in motion.  But maybe it was too much for me, whisking through Family Honor at top speed.  So while I can’t really compare the two, Family Honor read like a better written and somber Stephanie Plumb novel.  So fast-paced I never anchored to Sunny Randall herself.  Still, I’ve held on to the book for another attempt.  Though years later at this point.

2.  Joanne Fluke’s Chocolate Chip Murder

This is an unread debut stuffed inside my shelf for years (I’m thinking 2009).  Chocolate Chip Murder is first in Fluke’s Hannah Swensen cozy mystery series.  An obvious cozy mystery series themed around sweets and baked goods.  Yet, no matter how insanely popular this series is, I’ve yet to crack open my copy of the first book.  I have no explanation why, but I think it has a lot to do with its formatting.  Silly, I know.  But the print is so small and the book is so thick, with the extra short story and recipes.  So every time I pick it up I feel like it’s a high fantasy novel-level read, camouflaged as a cozy.  Weird, I know.  I’m a walking contradiction sometimes.  Big book.  Little book.  Big words.  Little words.  More details.  Less details.  It goes on.  Or maybe I'm just never in the mood.

3.  Greg Iles’ The Quiet Game

Eh.  So we know I don’t really sprint for leading male protagonist to serve my crime fiction.  On the occasion, maybe.  The Quiet Game came into my possession through the influence of a volunteer working my public library’s used bookstore.  At first she pushed me a copy of Greg Iles’ book, 24 Hours.  You know, as she raved about how amazing it was.  Sold by her enthusiasm, I took 24 Hours as she slipped me a copy of The Quiet Game to boot.  They were a dollar, so I didn’t really fuss.  And, fact is, once I cracked open the copy of 24 Hours, I read it in one sitting.  That’s how glued I was.  The book was a thrill ride you’d hate to put down.  Unfortunately, the same uhmph hasn’t quite caught up with The Quiet Game.  I can blame the thickness of the book.  I could say those 400+ pages to wallow through with Penn Cage (I’m sure he’s a great protagonist) in lead holds me back.  A number of excuses will do.  Yet at the end of the day, I’ve held on to my copy all the same.  One day.  Just one day I’ll get to it.  Who knows.  Maybe I’ll get hooked and engorge myself on the entire series.

4.  Frankie Y. Bailey’s Death’s Favorite Child

I've got an idea why I haven’t read this book after five years.  Why?  Because it’s not first in the Lizzie Stuart series.  I later learned A Dead Man’s Honor is the proper debut of this sleuth’s adventures.  Naturally drawn to a series with an African American female lead and writer; Death's Favorite Child is an easy necessary regardless of its position.  It just sucks I haven’t went back to correct my mistake by ordering the first book in the series.  You know.  OCD fully functioning and all.

5.  Eleanor Tayler Bland’s Whispers in the Dark

My most pitiful and shameful confession arrives with my stalling Bland’s Marti MacAlister series with book nine.  I was on a roll with MacAlister through 2012-2013.  Then I got to the ninth book.  Here, Bland took my favorite black female cop through the city and into the islands for two different plot lines.  One plot focused on MacAlister's profession, the other on a friend’s personal life.  There was just something about this book that drought'ed my thirst.  Well, my thirst for this specific chapter in the series.  So my resounding solution is to forget about this entry and move on to the next.  There aren’t enough Marti MacAlisters or Eleanor Taylor Blands out there for either to be forgotten.  And I still got five more books in the series to go.  Count me in still!

6.  Patricia Cornwell’s Southern Cross

Cornwell started writing this new third-person series before she took her famed forensic pathologist, Dr. Kay Scarpetta, out of the first person narrative and into third.  The changes in POV were experimental you could say.  But when that switch reached Scarpetta, it brought a string of books most dedicated readers cringed over.  Well, the same cringe can kind of apply for Cornwell’s Andy Brazil series–the original guinea pig of her expanding her writing chops.  As show above, Southern Cross is second in the Andy Brazil series.  (Somehow I made it through the maze of the first book, Hornet’s Nest.)  There’s only so much I say about Southern Cross.  Besides how crazy and directionless it felt.  For whatever reason, I feel almost obligated to take all three of the Andy Brazil books down.  “Down” as in swallow, but not "eject."  Nonetheless, I only got a quarter through Southern Cross when I realized it was a going to be a difficult test of my patience.  Something about digital fish swimming over a computer monitor's screen froze me out of the game.  I haven’t been back since the summer of 2011.

7.  Deja Dead by Kathy Reichs

No explanation needed.  Only bask in my shame as I unveil the biggest misstep in my crime fiction reading career.  That’s right.  The first Temperance Brennan novel has sat unread on my shelf for close to six years now.  A hot ass mess indeed.  I pick it up year after year, but can never seem to get pass the first chapter.  So I set it aside and save it for the following year.  It’s pitiful.  It’s a shame.  You’d think I'd glutton my way through a series revolving around a female forensics anthropologist.  But I haven’t.  Those are the sad facts.

Well that’s it, guys.  My list of shameful owned but unreads mysteries/series is complete.  Give a guy a round of applause for admitting some of these faults!