Dream Maker Stop

What‘s up, folks? Okay, so it’s the New Year and it appears my best friend and I have a tradition of visiting our local metaphysical shop, The Dream Maker, very early in the year.  We get inspired to collect new stuff to get us in the receiving mood. Baring the chilling, negative-something-or-another January air, we arrived just before the shop closed (I need to take pictures of the places on our next visit). I didn't have anything in mind this trip, only that I wanted to get a new pendulum because the one I've had for the past two years is busted from wearing it to work to stave off bad energy. It’s a seven chakra pendulum stacked with colored stones.  And I haven't seen another in the shop since I bought mine.  Nonetheless, on this particular trip, there were plenty to replace it with.  I finally settled on a quartz bottle pendulum with colorful stone pieces inside (chakra stone pieces, perhaps?).  It was either this one or a pendulum of an angel fashioned out of rose quartz.

I also got two word stones. The one carved with “Love” is made of sodalite, and the one carved with “Friends” is made of goldstone. While the goldstone attracted me with its simmering blackness, I picked these two word stones as areas I hope to improve in.  More or less a emblematic gesture to myself.

The last item I got is what’s apparently a little jewel box (or what have you) made of camel bone and brass–with a crushed velvety-like filling. Wanting something unique and different to put the word stones in, I finally decided on this box.

Look for an update by June as we go back to recharge.  If you collect crystals, gems or have a general interest in the metaphysics, please share your experience in the comments.

The Guy Who Almost Faded Away

I mentioned a couple of post ago how I've been sitting around not drawing.  I'd sketched an image and struggled for weeks trying to create it the way I'd envisioned it.  Unfortunately, that process stalled completely.  Friday I decided to just do it.  To take whatever it was I had already done and keep going.  There's no such thing as perfection after all.  It's something that will forever remain elusive and paralyzing.  So I'd rather keep creating.  Anyway, I actually filmed the process of this particularly project, so until I update this post with the edited film, here are a few of the stills.

The usual inking and color outlining done.  Just going with the flow on this one.  Nothing particular in mind, except that I wanted dark, bushy-like eyebrows.

As always, I fill in the color of the eyes first.  For some reason I do the eyes before letting everything else blossom.  It may have something to do with how I'm inspired by Naoko Takeuchi.  Nonetheless, I also colored areas of shade/shadow, and filled his top lip.  I had a little problem with the ink not drying properly, so when I went to erase the penciling, some of the ink smeared.  

Now time for the crafty part.  I had a cousin over and, from a multitude of scrapbook paper, she picked up this denim background and a shimmery gold piece for his cap.

So I had to scalp him to get all the necessary pieces traced and put back together.  Thankfully, he remains unbothered by the event.  While the pieces were off, I dusted him with a fleshy yellow-tinted chalk pastel and a soft brown for his hair.  I used a paper towel to even it all out.

Almost done.  All the pieces glued in place now.  I streaked his hair with a single black colored pencil and four shades of brown.  I used an eraser to streak in highlights–which I don't believe showed all that much.  Added pupil effect to eyes.

Not sure if this is the complete version yet.  I added jewel studs (because I love studs) before the scan.  Scanned him in, revived color, darken the black areas of the cap, eyebrows, and eyes.  He reminds me of a certain popstar, but I'm good with that.  The innocence, the youth, the potential look of caution; done.  We'll name him Tae Hee.  Now on to the next project.

Fresh Start with You Can Heal Your Life

It’s the New Year and I still want to stress (well, I should use a better term) the idea of giving ourselves a fresh, positive jolt for 2015. In doing so, I want to share one of my favorite books on creating favorable changes–both the outer and inner kind. It’s the book that brought me some much needed comfort over the years, because there‘s nothing exciting about dealing with those dark nights of the soul we all unavoidably must face.  And you know those nights, when it feels like Life is trolling you like a Whack-a-Mole game.  So unless you're like a few people I used to know who'd rather ride Life until the wheels pop off, you may have cause to focus on a little personal development. Nevertheless, the book, as seen to your left, is Louise Hay’s self-help debut, You Can Heal Your Life.

I was moderately familiar with Louise Hay back in my Sylvia Browne days (found somewhere in the headache of my early twenties).  Still, it wasn't until The Secret powered on 2006 with its quantum-ness talks on the law of attraction that a slew of related authors came blinking on my personal development radar.  Louise Hay, obviously, was one of those authors. Working at Borders, I checked You Can Heal Your Life out for a couple of days.  And I wasn't deterred by a manager who asked in subtle disgust whether or not I actually believed what you think/believe influences the makeup of your life. He was an adamant skeptic (and ain't nothing wrong with that) and thought I was crazy.  But really I was just searching for answers. I needed some mental and emotional healing; and to be perfectly honest, he, at the time, was part of my problem.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't truly appreciate You Can Heal Your Life until years later–after watching the video shown somewhere below this post. I mentioned in a past post what incident compelled me to seek out Louise Hay again.  Since then I've collected many of her books, audio lectures, DVDs, and even went to see her live in Atlanta during one of her I Can Do It tour stops.

See, I fell in love with You Can Heal Your Life because it is simple and uncomplicated with its purpose, while addressing multiple areas of personal development.  In an easy and comprehensible way, it covers relationships, jobs, aspirations, and spirituality (to name a few).  It leaves aside all of the quantum and scientifically researched talk for the fundamentals and basics.  It doesn't try to prove much of anything, while teaching you why you shouldn't sell yourself short as it concerns Life and the one you were given.  You learn how to recognize those bad thinking habits, and shift them from the inside out. And if it’s hard to drill your way through to change and giving up old, discouraging habits and attitudes, the affirmations given in the book are there to guide you in the right direction.  And say inner peace still doesn't come so easily, well you'll at least know that control how much of it you'll give yourself.

Nevertheless, I think ultimately (as it’s boiled down and compressed into my subconscious), You Can Heal Your Life reminds me that everything is going to be okay, and to trust the God/Universe. I went into picking up the book the second time because I needed to understand how everything is working out for my highest good, and from each experience only good will come. And that I am safe. And that I have to love the Self. Anytime I feel like things are clouding up around me, I pick up this book to beat it all back. It’s like an emotional beacon toward getting myself out of the rut of obsessing and over-thinking situations that are out of my hand. It allows me to let go, even just for a moment.

Lately I haven't been picking the book up as much as I feel like I should, so I will myself to keep it front and center and off my bookshelf. Next to my bed will do.  Just like the audio lectures/books of Louise Hay that I listen to when I just can't seem to fall asleep on my own.

Gerritsen No Goose. Robb Wins.

Seems like I'm breaking in the New Year catching up on J. D. Robb's In Death series–and not quite one of those juicy 400+ paged books I promised myself to start.  As previously mentioned, I stopped reading the series for two years before I finally caught up with where I left of in Delusion in Death.  Reading this series feels like an old pair of shoes and a wine-tasting party (or what I would believe) with old friends.  The series remains highly familiar, highly uneventful, and highly formulaic.  Yet, it feels like home and so much more.  

I happened across these two books at my local Books-A-Million.  The only reason I was there was because Barnes & Nobles didn't have Tess Gerritsen's latest, Die Again, on sale.  Sorry, but I'm not paying $27 for a book.  Nope.  I thought Books-A-Million would fair better, but no luck.  Except with J. D. Robb.  Calculated in Death follows immediately behind Delusion.  And after Calculated comes Thankless in Death.  I found them on bargain, therefore, I equivalate this to a JACKPOT.  As well as a comfortable way to get my year started.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

FAVORITE 10 BOOKS OF 2014

Yep, the year is done!  2014 became a fun, conflicting, hard, and challenging one.  I wish I could say where all the areas of my personal growth lie, but I can't.  I just know that it's there, fed by the hunger for change and a better life.  But one thing I can say that this year has taught me is that you can't give up nor count yourself out.  Nevertheless, I'm trusting that a lot of that troubling energy of 2014 is moving out of the way for some amazing opportunities–especially considering I'm entering my 3rd year here.  And I think I've worked my ass off and built enough momentum to move into the next stage.  Nonetheless, all that talk can wait.  Before the year is completely done, I have to share ten of my favorite reads of 2014.  They're not in any particular rank; they're chronological placed according to when I read them.  Oh, I forgot to mention that according to Goodreads I managed to read 70 books this year.  As for my Goodreads reading challenge, I initially set out to read 60 books.  However, I pushed it up to 65 during a month when I wasn't ready consistently and filled my reading time with short stories and graphic novels.  But that's neither here nor there.  On to the list!

1.  Mao by Jung Chang

2.  Year of the Demon by Steve Bein

3.  A Thousand Lives by Julia Scheeres

4.  Innocent Blood by P. D. James

5.  Concourse by S. J. Rozan

6.  The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson

7.  Killing Orders by Sara Paretsky

8.  Hotel Paradise by Martha Grimes

9.  So Far From God by Ana Castillo

10.  The Seventh Sinner by Elizabeth Peters  

I hope you guys had a great reading year, alongside a Happy New Year.  Actually, I trust that it's all good.  I want to thank anyone who has been sharing my posts, commenting and following along here and/or on my Youtube channel (which I'll be back to updating in January).  Share your favorite books from 2014 in the comments below!  And I'll see you next year.  

Banana's Kitchen!

Banana Yoshimoto’s Kitchen combines two novellas into one thematic collection. The first, and decidedly best and lengthy one, features the story of a Japanese woman named Mikage Sakurai. Orphaned as a child, Mikage was raised by her grandparents in Tokyo. And per her story‘s opening, her grandmother, the last living relative in her family, has passed and left Mikage alone in the apartment they shared. It’s a bit suffocating to Mikage, living in the loneliness and silence. Nonetheless, she’s always found comfort in kitchens. And not just cooking in kitchens; sleeping on a futon next to a humming refrigerator consoles her just nicely.  Whether she's enduring the struggles provided by life or death, her affinity for kitchens has always been true.  (Filthy or clean, it doesn't matter to her.)  Naturally, this is the first place Mikage feels drawn to after her grandmother’s death.  So without question kitchens are the motif behind her story.

With a life surrounded by the dying of her loved ones, Mikage is the last of the Sakurai family and has no one to turn to. Thankfully, a guy named Yuichi, who works in a flower shop that Mikage’s grandmother frequented, comes to Mikage's “rescue.” With his love of the deceased grandmother spilling over, Yuichi invites Mikage to live with him and his transvestite (to be clear, his father dresses as a woman) mother to help Mikage grieve as well as settle her grandmother’s estate. Needless to say, a bond is formed between Mikage and Yuichi. A bond established by their combined link to death, sorrow and hope.

Now, the second story in Kitchen is called “Moonlight Shadow.” Apparently, it’s Yoshimoto’s first published piece, and is an obvious slant toward the aforementioned story. In “Moonlight Shadow” a young woman name Satsuki is mourning the death of her boyfriend. She grieves through jogging in the early hours of the day, where she crosses a white bridge upon her route. One day Satsuki runs into a woman at this bridge, and it‘s here that the two share a thermos of tea. It appears to be a random encounter, until the woman proceeds to connect with Satsuki on an incorporeal level.

(This next half of the post refers mainly to the title story and not the short, "Moonlight Shadow.")

I feel so conflicted with this, but I was a little apathetic about Kitchen the first few thirty-or-so pages into it. And while I did want a little more "meat," that impassive feeling wasn't because of Yoshimoto’s sort of inconspicuous storytelling. Nevertheless, I want to get to the really, really good stuff first.  

As mentioned, the stories in Kitchen take a steep, subjective step into how some of us approach death, loneliness, sorrow and the eventual necessity to heal. And I've marked some of my favorite passages to illustrate such.

"No matter what, I want to continue living with the awareness that I will die.  Without that, I am not alive.  That is what makes the life I have now possible.  Inching one's way along a steep cliff in the dark: on reaching the highway, one breathes a sigh of relief.  Just when one can't take any more, one sees the moonlight.  Beauty that seems to infuse itself into the heart: I know about that."

And...

"'We've been very lonely, but we had it easy.  Because death is so heavy–we, too young to know about it, couldn't handle it.  After this you and I may end up seeing nothing but suffering, difficulty, and ugliness, but if only you'll agree to it, I want for us to go on to more difficult places, happier places, whatever comes, together.  I want you to make the decision after you're completely better, so take your time thinking about it.  In the meantime, though, don't disappear on me.'"

Good stuff, right?  Well, as we all know, translations are never 100%, so maybe that initial apathetic feeling had to do with the book's translation from Japanese to English.  However, I think I can bottom line those feelings to Kitchen's often defunct subordinate and insubordinate clauses, comma splices, complex sentences, and moments of awkwardly expressed dialogue. Give or take a few. Eventually, I got the hang of it all.  Or I failed to notice or revisit moments of hiccupping narrative to reconnect a few of those uncertain subject-verb agreements.  Not trying to sound like a grammar police because I'm a criminal myself.  But when I notice a missing beat, I notice it.  Technical or otherwise.

Maybe it’s the change of cadence from poetic Japanese prose to English. I honestly don't know. I can only say that for a few pages, I had to establish the rhythm and beat of the book. And thankfully I did because the further the story moved, the further I was moved. And when it concluded, I looked up to the ceiling telling myself: “Damn, that was a good story.”  Of course with the book pinned against my heart for dramatic flare.  Seriously, though.  Once I was there with Kitchen, I was there.  We're talking tense and scared for the outcome; hopeful and unsure.

I'll leave it at that because I think I've muddled what I was trying to say.  Otherwise, we'll be here all day analyzing this book.  Kitchen is worth your attention even if you may also find yourself trying to warm up to the story and characters, delivered by the sometimes hiccupy narrative.